I was listening to the radio (a bad start) when Mr. Garrison Eeyore (follow the 2nd link and get out your origami!) was mumbling something about "First person to receive a masters degree in music from an American University." This was followed by some truly terrible classical music.
As I was on my way to my guitar lesson, this was a real bring-down. Quickly, I switched to the all reggaeton station and tried to get it out of my mind. But I can't just let it go: FIRST TO RECEIVE DEGREE = BIG DEAL. If your name is Aaron Aardvark and you receive your degree before Xakor Zywotchenko, then I suppose that you should thank the ancient Phoneicians for giving you a leg up on the other guy!
When I checked this post for grammar, I added two exclamation points!
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
I've been carping about this for years
MedicalPost.com: THE LAST LAUGH: Really loony toons: "Tweety and Sylvester pose an interesting diagnostic dilemma. At first one tends to label Tweety as the victim and Sylvester as the victimizer. But look at what happens in a typical interaction. Tweety maintains a pose of innocence while engineering all sorts of horrible events for Sylvester.
The cat falls from great heights, is attacked by aggressive canines and otherwise is beaten, maimed and subjected to all sorts of negative life experiences. Who is really the victim here?
Tweety is a typical passive aggressive personality. Unfortunately, this useful term seems to have been engineered out of the present DSM-IV, so I can't give it a code number.
What about Sylvester? He seems to be a co-dependent in this sick relationship. Why doesn't he just leave, or seek counselling to escape this cycle of violence? Alas, he could be a little better endowed in the brain department (witness his mistaking a baby kangaroo for a mouse). "
The cat falls from great heights, is attacked by aggressive canines and otherwise is beaten, maimed and subjected to all sorts of negative life experiences. Who is really the victim here?
Tweety is a typical passive aggressive personality. Unfortunately, this useful term seems to have been engineered out of the present DSM-IV, so I can't give it a code number.
What about Sylvester? He seems to be a co-dependent in this sick relationship. Why doesn't he just leave, or seek counselling to escape this cycle of violence? Alas, he could be a little better endowed in the brain department (witness his mistaking a baby kangaroo for a mouse). "
Friday, July 15, 2005
It's a Dave New World
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley : chapter one: "The first of a batch of two hundred and fifty embryonic rocket-plane engineers was just passing the eleven hundred metre mark on Rack 3. A special mechanism kept their containers in constant rotation. 'To improve their sense of balance,' Mr. Foster explained. 'Doing repairs on the outside of a rocket in mid-air is a ticklish job. We slacken off the circulation when they're right way up, so that they're half starved, and double the flow of surrogate when they're upside down. They learn to associate topsy-turvydom with well-being; in fact, they're only truly happy when they're standing on their heads. "
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Jason vs. Avocado
Jason...looses!
(for those of you keeping score, this makes Jason 3, Foodstuffs 1 - I may or may not have mentioned the...B-A-N-A-N-A-S...that have become a staple in our house as of late)
I mashed it up nicely, tasted it myself even. Resisted the urge to add cilantro, lime juice and other enhancements. But no good. Here's how it went down"
Jason quietly looks at the green stuff on the spoon, with what can best be described a curiosity. Open mouth, insert food. He looks off as if contemplating deeply. Opens his mouth, and lets the food fall out.
We repeat the above, the 2nd time, he lets it roll around in his mouth for a few seconds, even going so far as to insert a finger to help (with the eating, the flavor? who knows), but out it comes again. No "ick" face. No face at all. Just a look that says "mom, this isn't food. it doesn't taste bad, but I am NOT going to eat it. Period."
After we repeated this half a dozen times, I relented. Fine Jason. You can have sweet potatoes.
Oh well. Perhaps peas will be next. That can't go poorly, right? right?
(for those of you keeping score, this makes Jason 3, Foodstuffs 1 - I may or may not have mentioned the...B-A-N-A-N-A-S...that have become a staple in our house as of late)
I mashed it up nicely, tasted it myself even. Resisted the urge to add cilantro, lime juice and other enhancements. But no good. Here's how it went down"
Jason quietly looks at the green stuff on the spoon, with what can best be described a curiosity. Open mouth, insert food. He looks off as if contemplating deeply. Opens his mouth, and lets the food fall out.
We repeat the above, the 2nd time, he lets it roll around in his mouth for a few seconds, even going so far as to insert a finger to help (with the eating, the flavor? who knows), but out it comes again. No "ick" face. No face at all. Just a look that says "mom, this isn't food. it doesn't taste bad, but I am NOT going to eat it. Period."
After we repeated this half a dozen times, I relented. Fine Jason. You can have sweet potatoes.
Oh well. Perhaps peas will be next. That can't go poorly, right? right?
Saturday, July 02, 2005
The "Hank" Commerical From Starbucks
First go see it. (right click on the link and open up in a new window -- it is better that way)
Got it? Now let's talk about....me.
When I was in third grade, the public school district had this magnet program that included a once a week trip to another school, where academic enrichment electives were offered. The place was no joke. Anyhow, the Yonkers Enrichment Center is where I started to look at media with a critical eye. (Maybe I should also give props to Mario Cuomo and the NY State Summer School for the media arts, but we are getting off topic).
On the first day of one particular course, the teacher had us talk about powerful things we had seen in the media. Because "The Day After" wasn't for another year - we talked about things like: the first Columbia space shuttle liftoff, "Star Wars", "Jaws", "Friday the 13th" (scary how many 3rd graders had seen it on saturday afternoon tv), the Kiss movie, etc. After establishing that powerful media was all movies and TV, the teacher asked us if we had ever experienced powerful radio. Everybody laughed. Then Ms. Mordillo (I think that was her name) played us Herb Morrision reporting on the Hindenburg disaster. We all admitted that this was pretty good. Then she played us Orson Well's Halloween 1938 War of the Worlds Broadcast. We went bananas.
"We want to make something that is that good!"
"Great - you have the rest of the semester to script, produce, rehearse, videotape a 30-second television commerical!"
And like hungry wolves upon a crippled Moose, we dug into our material with voracious enthusiasm. (There is normally a long digression in retelling this ancedote. I've trimmed it and left this parenthetical comment as that digression's tombstone)
I remember that Jean-Paul LePez (the director and star), some kid (the scriptwriter and camera operator), and I (the producer and editor) were really pleased with the Cola commerical that we produced. We had a clever product tie-in with a movie (Splash) a good product gimmick ("Splash cola: the one with Grapemon (tm)") and the commerical put important things at stake (a man is crawling through the desert, literally dying of thirst ... for Grapemon) but I always regretted that the final cut somehow was lacking heart. The audience maybe felt a certain degree of pathos because the man was so thirsty, and because he was crawling over linoleum-as-sand... but you just didn't connect with him.
Basically, I wish I had made the Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot commerical called "Bleachers" but popularly known as the "Hank" Commerical. After Louren showed it to me, I just watched it over and over again.
Without further ado, and because everything is better when it is deconstructed --
First the familiar. Some skinny dork running out of his house trying to drink Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot on the run. Nice product shot, you can see the logo. You're thinking "I've seen this countless times: something surreal is going to happend and he's going to have a fantasy day and then its going to announce the 1 in a million chance sweepstakes." But this kid isn't really handsome enough to be the sweepstakes winner. He's wearing a black suit with an ugly green tie (school tie maybe?) and the shirt he's wearing is half a size too big. Cut. Now we see the whole kid framed by the stairwell of his apartment complex. He's got three D-Size drawings under his arm and a briefcase, just enough stuff to be having an awkward time of it but not so much so that it is clear that this is stuff that he drew and not just a bunch of stuff that he's carrying.
Enter the mascot. A bloated parody of the kid complete with caterpiller eyebrows and the same briefcase - but the brief case is a boombox as well. Note that the mascot - with this gigantic noggin - could have been taller than the kid, but he's not. He's just a touch shorter.
The song, if case you are interested is Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2"
The kid turns his head and thinks hey wait a ...
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!"
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!"
Now we see the bleachers. All five rows are full. Cut to Hank proceeding to walk.
Now we see that everyone in the stands are wearing "HANK" T-shirts. HANK is writen in a Serifed font reminiscient of TUFTS or RUTGERS from the early 60s. And its the same color green as Hanks ugly tie. Oh, I get it... its his lucky green tie.
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!"
Hank looks at his fans, or maybe he's looking both ways before crossing the street. Such a nice boy.
Cut to a closeup of two fans in the front row following Hank with their eyes as he passes. Its MOM! She's so proud of her boy that she is about to tear up, making it hard to do the fist pump, not that Hank's mom would ever really pump her fist at all because, you know, she's the gentlest woman on earth. And next to Mom, of course, is DAD. He's positively swollen with pride, but not in the menancing crazy way like Tiger Woods' dad as portrayed by SNL. Behind Mom & Dad is coach. You don't see him now, but you will remember him later. Cut
Hank's standard-sized vehicle is going under the below-the-grade highway bridge and the boosters (and the mascot) are on the overpass, and they raise up a bunch of placards that together spell "HANK" It looks like that to get this shot, they found a underpass with a nice wide sidewalk and shot it from there. I wonder how difficult it was to get a permit from the city. Its kind of a windy day, did they need to do many takes? Did they practice indoors first to get the timing correctly for lifting the placards? Cut.
Hank again. Looking alert. Calm. Oh yeah, the mascot is also taking the elevator. Note that the mascot is wearing sneakers, like a real mascot. Cut.
They raised the bleachers up on scaffolding and it looks like there is a ladder (not a stairwell) in the back. These are not the same extras as were at the apartment complex. Mom and Dad are not in the first row, and then there is some dude not wearing a HANK t-shirt in the first row. Tsk tsk.
Note the jaded professional in the foreground who looks at the fans chanting for Hank and just rolls his eyes as if that happens every day. That makes up for the continuity error. Fantastic! Cut.
Another product shot. Now I see what' going on with no t-shirt boy. He's "Superfan" because he's got a headband. Behind "Superfan" is "wise old mentor" you don't see him now, but you will remember him later. Also it looks like Superfan is sitting someplace else. Dude, don't they number these extras and sit them all in the same place?
Waiting room now. Hank sits ups ever so slightly to straighten his jacket. His eyes are straight ahead. He's ready. For what? An interview, a presentation? Not sure, but now we are starting to know the inner HANK. Put some headgear on him, and he's a wrestler. Put a racket in his hand, and he's a tennis player. Put a golf club ... you get the idea, which is that he's learned some important life lessons from youth sports about drive and heart. Okay now let's meet the inner HANK by seeing the people who are rooting for him:
In front: its "Wise old mentor" wearing a bow tie and a khaki suit. His white wiskers and soulful eyes tell you that at some defining moment, Hank was ready to quit or maybe he was down about a loss or maybe ... well anyway "wise old mentor" was there with some dignified home-spun wisdom to give Hank that extra spark to keep going and to plant a seed for long-term inspiration.
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!" (its a whisper now).
Mom is sitting next to coach. Her brows are knit, she knows that the rough stuff is about to start and she wants to see her boy come out on top. Where's Dad? oh well...
Coach is next to MOM. He's the one with the Hank cap and the silk Letterman jacket.
Childhood Best friend is next to former teammate (cut off in the frame). Childhood best friend is even dorkier than Hank.
Rounding it out in the back row we got: three girls who could be platonic friend, little sis, and maybe girlfriend sitting next to creepy towel guy. cut
For a moment Hank has some trepidation... his eyes wander over to (cut)
coach - who is very very intense. Coach wants this win, for his protege. Note that coach has a coach's whistle. We get it. We get it. Cut
Now for the first time we see one of the game officials. Its the receptionist, "Hank?" she asks with a cocky tilt of the head that says "Wake up, doofus!" cut.
Indeed Hank is lost in thought for an instant. He's wondering "Do I deserve the trust and love of these people rooting for me?" but the receptionist snaps him out of it. These boosters (and of course, Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot) are his secret weapon! He gives his fans a secret smile and bolts up ready to go.
Now the crowd is on their feet. This is it. The mascot either does a move known as "the turtle" (or maybe its a handglide. Ask your local b-boy).
Watch the people in the last three rows. This made Louren laugh really hard.
Someone blasts an airhorn, or maybe its the secretary buzzing Hank through the glass doors. It doesn't matter - Hank is in the game now and he's going to rock his presentation or interview or whatever.
"Delicious Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso Drink. Bring on the day" There is no "X" is espresso, and the voice-over guy nails it.
What really blows me away about the commerical is how fast it moves. There are some 30-second spots that just seem to take a freaking year to watch. Like... you could have read this whole blog entry four times in the time it takes to watch that commerical. Local ads for used car dealerships come to mind.
I IMDBed the Head of production for the spot (Brian Dilorenzo). He was also the Exec Producer for "Do Geese See God?" and "AGENT ORANGE" which you may remember from this past Christmas on AMAZON.COM. Personally, I though "AGENT ORGANGE" was abysmal but had excellent production value. I wasn't familiar with the directors work, but TV is a producer's medium anyway.
I had more to say about the larger social themes that this spot brings up, but I'm unconvinced that anyone who kept reading up to this point wants to keep reading any further.
Got it? Now let's talk about....me.
When I was in third grade, the public school district had this magnet program that included a once a week trip to another school, where academic enrichment electives were offered. The place was no joke. Anyhow, the Yonkers Enrichment Center is where I started to look at media with a critical eye. (Maybe I should also give props to Mario Cuomo and the NY State Summer School for the media arts, but we are getting off topic).
On the first day of one particular course, the teacher had us talk about powerful things we had seen in the media. Because "The Day After" wasn't for another year - we talked about things like: the first Columbia space shuttle liftoff, "Star Wars", "Jaws", "Friday the 13th" (scary how many 3rd graders had seen it on saturday afternoon tv), the Kiss movie, etc. After establishing that powerful media was all movies and TV, the teacher asked us if we had ever experienced powerful radio. Everybody laughed. Then Ms. Mordillo (I think that was her name) played us Herb Morrision reporting on the Hindenburg disaster. We all admitted that this was pretty good. Then she played us Orson Well's Halloween 1938 War of the Worlds Broadcast. We went bananas.
"We want to make something that is that good!"
"Great - you have the rest of the semester to script, produce, rehearse, videotape a 30-second television commerical!"
And like hungry wolves upon a crippled Moose, we dug into our material with voracious enthusiasm. (There is normally a long digression in retelling this ancedote. I've trimmed it and left this parenthetical comment as that digression's tombstone)
I remember that Jean-Paul LePez (the director and star), some kid (the scriptwriter and camera operator), and I (the producer and editor) were really pleased with the Cola commerical that we produced. We had a clever product tie-in with a movie (Splash) a good product gimmick ("Splash cola: the one with Grapemon (tm)") and the commerical put important things at stake (a man is crawling through the desert, literally dying of thirst ... for Grapemon) but I always regretted that the final cut somehow was lacking heart. The audience maybe felt a certain degree of pathos because the man was so thirsty, and because he was crawling over linoleum-as-sand... but you just didn't connect with him.
Basically, I wish I had made the Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot commerical called "Bleachers" but popularly known as the "Hank" Commerical. After Louren showed it to me, I just watched it over and over again.
Without further ado, and because everything is better when it is deconstructed --
First the familiar. Some skinny dork running out of his house trying to drink Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot on the run. Nice product shot, you can see the logo. You're thinking "I've seen this countless times: something surreal is going to happend and he's going to have a fantasy day and then its going to announce the 1 in a million chance sweepstakes." But this kid isn't really handsome enough to be the sweepstakes winner. He's wearing a black suit with an ugly green tie (school tie maybe?) and the shirt he's wearing is half a size too big. Cut. Now we see the whole kid framed by the stairwell of his apartment complex. He's got three D-Size drawings under his arm and a briefcase, just enough stuff to be having an awkward time of it but not so much so that it is clear that this is stuff that he drew and not just a bunch of stuff that he's carrying.
Enter the mascot. A bloated parody of the kid complete with caterpiller eyebrows and the same briefcase - but the brief case is a boombox as well. Note that the mascot - with this gigantic noggin - could have been taller than the kid, but he's not. He's just a touch shorter.
The song, if case you are interested is Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2"
The kid turns his head and thinks hey wait a ...
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!"
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!"
Now we see the bleachers. All five rows are full. Cut to Hank proceeding to walk.
Now we see that everyone in the stands are wearing "HANK" T-shirts. HANK is writen in a Serifed font reminiscient of TUFTS or RUTGERS from the early 60s. And its the same color green as Hanks ugly tie. Oh, I get it... its his lucky green tie.
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!"
Hank looks at his fans, or maybe he's looking both ways before crossing the street. Such a nice boy.
Cut to a closeup of two fans in the front row following Hank with their eyes as he passes. Its MOM! She's so proud of her boy that she is about to tear up, making it hard to do the fist pump, not that Hank's mom would ever really pump her fist at all because, you know, she's the gentlest woman on earth. And next to Mom, of course, is DAD. He's positively swollen with pride, but not in the menancing crazy way like Tiger Woods' dad as portrayed by SNL. Behind Mom & Dad is coach. You don't see him now, but you will remember him later. Cut
Hank's standard-sized vehicle is going under the below-the-grade highway bridge and the boosters (and the mascot) are on the overpass, and they raise up a bunch of placards that together spell "HANK" It looks like that to get this shot, they found a underpass with a nice wide sidewalk and shot it from there. I wonder how difficult it was to get a permit from the city. Its kind of a windy day, did they need to do many takes? Did they practice indoors first to get the timing correctly for lifting the placards? Cut.
Hank again. Looking alert. Calm. Oh yeah, the mascot is also taking the elevator. Note that the mascot is wearing sneakers, like a real mascot. Cut.
They raised the bleachers up on scaffolding and it looks like there is a ladder (not a stairwell) in the back. These are not the same extras as were at the apartment complex. Mom and Dad are not in the first row, and then there is some dude not wearing a HANK t-shirt in the first row. Tsk tsk.
Note the jaded professional in the foreground who looks at the fans chanting for Hank and just rolls his eyes as if that happens every day. That makes up for the continuity error. Fantastic! Cut.
Another product shot. Now I see what' going on with no t-shirt boy. He's "Superfan" because he's got a headband. Behind "Superfan" is "wise old mentor" you don't see him now, but you will remember him later. Also it looks like Superfan is sitting someplace else. Dude, don't they number these extras and sit them all in the same place?
Waiting room now. Hank sits ups ever so slightly to straighten his jacket. His eyes are straight ahead. He's ready. For what? An interview, a presentation? Not sure, but now we are starting to know the inner HANK. Put some headgear on him, and he's a wrestler. Put a racket in his hand, and he's a tennis player. Put a golf club ... you get the idea, which is that he's learned some important life lessons from youth sports about drive and heart. Okay now let's meet the inner HANK by seeing the people who are rooting for him:
In front: its "Wise old mentor" wearing a bow tie and a khaki suit. His white wiskers and soulful eyes tell you that at some defining moment, Hank was ready to quit or maybe he was down about a loss or maybe ... well anyway "wise old mentor" was there with some dignified home-spun wisdom to give Hank that extra spark to keep going and to plant a seed for long-term inspiration.
Boom ba boop-boop boom "HANK!" (its a whisper now).
Mom is sitting next to coach. Her brows are knit, she knows that the rough stuff is about to start and she wants to see her boy come out on top. Where's Dad? oh well...
Coach is next to MOM. He's the one with the Hank cap and the silk Letterman jacket.
Childhood Best friend is next to former teammate (cut off in the frame). Childhood best friend is even dorkier than Hank.
Rounding it out in the back row we got: three girls who could be platonic friend, little sis, and maybe girlfriend sitting next to creepy towel guy. cut
For a moment Hank has some trepidation... his eyes wander over to (cut)
coach - who is very very intense. Coach wants this win, for his protege. Note that coach has a coach's whistle. We get it. We get it. Cut
Now for the first time we see one of the game officials. Its the receptionist, "Hank?" she asks with a cocky tilt of the head that says "Wake up, doofus!" cut.
Indeed Hank is lost in thought for an instant. He's wondering "Do I deserve the trust and love of these people rooting for me?" but the receptionist snaps him out of it. These boosters (and of course, Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot) are his secret weapon! He gives his fans a secret smile and bolts up ready to go.
Now the crowd is on their feet. This is it. The mascot either does a move known as "the turtle" (or maybe its a handglide. Ask your local b-boy).
Watch the people in the last three rows. This made Louren laugh really hard.
Someone blasts an airhorn, or maybe its the secretary buzzing Hank through the glass doors. It doesn't matter - Hank is in the game now and he's going to rock his presentation or interview or whatever.
"Delicious Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso Drink. Bring on the day" There is no "X" is espresso, and the voice-over guy nails it.
What really blows me away about the commerical is how fast it moves. There are some 30-second spots that just seem to take a freaking year to watch. Like... you could have read this whole blog entry four times in the time it takes to watch that commerical. Local ads for used car dealerships come to mind.
I IMDBed the Head of production for the spot (Brian Dilorenzo). He was also the Exec Producer for "Do Geese See God?" and "AGENT ORANGE" which you may remember from this past Christmas on AMAZON.COM. Personally, I though "AGENT ORGANGE" was abysmal but had excellent production value. I wasn't familiar with the directors work, but TV is a producer's medium anyway.
I had more to say about the larger social themes that this spot brings up, but I'm unconvinced that anyone who kept reading up to this point wants to keep reading any further.
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