Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Charlie Brown DVD

Speaking of "A Charlie Brown Christmas", I have often thought about what it would be like to have someone do a capella versions of dreamy songs by Pink Floyd, or even dreamier ones byThe Orb

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Hope

The Christian Season of Advent kicked off today. For those of you who are too lazy to read the whole page that I've linked, Advent is a spirtual journey leading to the birth of Jesus. For the last three hundred years or so, the Western world has had a competing capitalist vision of Advent whereby the ugliest and phoniest parts of our culture come to the fore and demand that we all spend a lot of money and pretend like we are thrilled. In this way, the December season has a tendancy to create cognitive dissonance bordering on extremely cruel.

I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. I always end up feeling depressed."

See Charles Shultz, A Charlie Brown Christmas (1964) can be view on ABC on December 7, 2004 at 8PM EST; see also Holly Hartman, How A Charlie Brown Christmas Came to Pass: The Unlikely Beginning of a holiday classic (site visited November 28, 2004) available at http://www.factmonster.com/spot/cbrown1.html

I think that it is interesting - the common notion (mostly held by conservatives) that this secular commerical vision is a recent phenomenon. Those people are wrong, but I don't think that this topic is interesting enough to explore.

Instead, I wanted to rebuke the many gloomy pronoucements that I have made over the course of my life about the whole Christmas season (like the first part of this blog entry)and confess that the last few years have brought productive, positive experiences. In particular there has been Hope.

First off, it must be said that Louren has been quite clear in her effort to make December a happier month. She has not had an easy time. I have been quite subborn, over the years, about my instistence that I really do feel negative about the whole season. She is really quite awesome. I tell her that often, but it is not enough. You (yes you!) should send her an email right now and tell her that she is an awesome, beautiful, pregant lady. I'm serious, you'd better do it.

Second, the simple but intense experience of raising children and witnessing their innocent enthusiasm for Christmas really does inspire feelings of Hope, Love, and Faith.

Hope has been my first response to this experience. The Hope that the world can be a better place. The Hope that I can make it a better place by being a Good man, or if I cannot be Good, at least I can try to be better than I am.

At the same time, Hope is not an exercise in "I ought" but it is a plain actuality. Objectively, I can see how my feelings turned to thoughts turned to plans turned to resolutions that sustained my actions throughout the year. Things that I did not think that I would do or could do... these things started with a subtle but important change inside of me.

A single candle lit in the dark; the first candle of advent - Hope.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Lesson's Learned

Read this first: Dispute over turkey blamed for stabbings

Ready? Ok good.

1. Don't invite crazy Uncle Frank to Thanksgiving dinner.

2. If you must invite crazy Uncle Frank, sit him at the kiddie table.

3. If there is no kiddie table and his table manners are offensive: LET IT GO!

4. If there is so much family tension that Gonzalo and Gonzalo II get stabbed, maybe that's a bad place to have Thanksgiving dinner.

5. Maybe you should have all gone out to Medieval Times instead

William, isn't it extremely distasteful of you to mock this violent incident and obvious family tragedy?

Probably. If it makes you feel better, I am sensitive to the fact that the real indignity is that so many of the major news outlets latched on to this story that it became a top "Google News" headline. I hope that nothing tragic but darkly comic happens to my family "Uncle George attacked by Clown with custard pie, suffers concusion" "While in Kansas, Cousin Dorothy's home is picked up by Tornado, deeply unpopular woman crushed underneath descending house, breaking Fall for Dorothy (and her dog Toto too)"

Thursday, November 25, 2004

The Story of Thanksgiving

In honor of THANKSGIVING I wanted to tell the story of Thanksgiving.

After being warned by John Wayne to get out of England. The puritans headed to Amsterdam, in order to enjoy religious freedom. They found that the Dutch value freedom a bit too much, so they got together and said, "Let's go to some semi-frozen wasteland where there are savages and disease and hardship." "Why should we do that?" "Then we can practice religious freedom our way! People will be free to only believe what we believe!" "Hooray!"

So they hitched a ride with some merchants who dropped them off at some Plymouth Rock "This wasn't were we wanted to go" "we are sick of you, see ya"

They promptly failed to get their crop of rice, barley, and foolishlyrelyonmetolivebecauseIamabigstupid berry and most of them died.

Then Tonto showed up and suppressing his better instincts to kill the invader of his homeland, decided instead to teach them to plant corn with rotting fish it makes the corn grow better.

WARNING THIS NEXT BIT IS A LIBERAL DOWNER!

That fall in 1621, the Pilgrims were so happy not to be dead that they had a party to thank their Native American friends "We promise that our descendants won't wipe you out in a racist frenzy"

"Okee dookee"

AMERICANS ARE BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! Bleah!
This message brought to you by liberals.


Years later Benjamin Franklin said, "Wild Turkey is a noble and beautiful... what was the question?"

Then George Washington declared that all Americans would celebrate a big feast to kick off the Christmas shopping season.

Oh... and something about football.

Then there was the part where Peppermint Patty invited Franklin and a bunch of other people over to Charlie Brown's house and Snoopy served them toast and popcorn.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My favorite Thanksgiving memory from my childhood is when we took my Grandma to a fancy new French restaurant on Central Park West. We enjoyed all enjoyed a pretentious family dinner of prix fixe entrees. My French reading comprehension was near its peak so I could almost read what it said on the menu, but luckily we had the waiter to act like a bad 1970's sitcom stereotype of a snooty waiter.

"What is Dinde?"

"C'est turKEY, petit homme."

The waiter looked at me with disgust and disdain as if to say "See what your abomniable culture has forced us to cook?"

I looked at the waiter and said "If we really wanted Turkey, do you think that we would have come here?"

At that point, my Mom scolded me.

"William!"

After dinner we went back to Grandma's apartment and played Scrabble. Eugene won on the last word. It was typical Eugene Scrabble. I put down something like "ICON" which he turns into "LEXICON" with the X on a triple letter and the L on a double word and he clears his rack and there are no more letters and Mom and I both had seven letters in our rack and mom was holding onto a "Z" because she saw "UNFROZEN" for her next turn, which would have been like a billion points.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I ripped this joke off from SNL

In honor of Trav's spiffy new blog

I should have the appropriate juxtaposition. That would involve.

A nearly unreadable font color

What's up with the blue on black and the grey on black, homeslice?

It reminds me of Dirk Gently I-Ching calculator where everything was
"a sufussion of yellow"

Wow. That was fantastic. Doing blog lay-out parody is the netiquette equivalent of a fart joke

Monday, November 22, 2004

He Mele No Lilo

image replaced by link

Oh Hawai'i!

Your judicary makes my head spin and the honor code prevents me from discussing the facts of the case or the substantive law involved in the case in Hawaii.

Oh Hawaii! You are such a strange and far away place. Part of America and yet, I can't find all the legal resources about you that I want to find on Westlaw.

Oh Hawai'i! I have not posted to my blog in nearly a month, and my family is mad at me because I have been busy getting hysterical over my open memo.

I have spent many sleepless nights writing about Hawai'i, land of Magnum PI.

It requires more Air Miles to fly to Hawai'i but your web site is top notch


I have never been to Hawai'i.

Maybe one day I will visit.

Until then, Aloha and Goodbye-e

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

What they've been doing behind the pawn shop and the liquor store

I just looked at my own blog and 3 of 4 for the first time in ages tonight (thanks to Kerry - the wife, not the other one). I was honored and humbled that my absence was noted.

But more, I was excited about the communal blogging going on at 3 of 4, hence me posting here. Actually, I was confused at first. I couldn't figure what in Sam Hill Jason was doing in William's belly, but then all became clear. Anyway, now that I understand, I find it exciting.

I'll not try to catch up on the last several months of my negligence; instead, I'll opt for obscure references (like "Ken Griffey's grotequely swollen jaw") (which, of course, is actually an obscure reference to Kent Garneau, and has nothing to do with the recent past). Suffice it to say, that I'm almost through semester 3 of 4 (a theme, tonight) at SAIS. I've been writing papers on the landless in Brazil and legal wrangling between Australia and East Timor over rights to the Timor seabed. In a nutshell:
  • Just because you have half a continent doesn't mean people won't fight and kill for land.
  • Just because the sea looks really big doesn't mean people won't fight over it.
For this, one needs to go to grad school.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Active baby

Jason has really become more active (in utero) over the past week. You can actually watch my stomach jump and ripple, without having to touch to see/feel. He also likes to frequently bunch up high on my right side, causing my belly to look rather lopsided.

I have a feeling that this is going to be a rather large baby boy. Anybody want to place bets now on weight, length, and date of arrival?

Sunday, November 07, 2004

The Holidays Are Coming!

Have a person in your life that is hard to shop for? A picky nephew? Perhaps a "secret-Santa" type exchange at work? We have the solution!

Check out the "adorable" stuffed critters on this web site. Do it now. We'll wait.

Ok. Now isn't there somebody to whom you'd like to give the plague?

Ahhhh - the things that they think up in Delaware.

Friday, November 05, 2004

My last comment about the politcal season

"The force of evil plans
To make you its possession
And it will if we let it
Destroy ev-er-y-body
We all must take
Precautionary measures
If love and please you treasure
Then you'll hear me when I say

Oh that
Love's in need of love today
love's in need of love today
Don't delay
don't delay
Send yours in right away
right a-way
Hate's goin' round
hate's goin' round
Breaking many hearts
break-ing hearts
Stop it please
stop it please
Before it's gone too far
gone too far"

Stevie Wonder, Love's in Need of Love Today, on Songs In The Key Of Life (Jobete Music Company Inc. & Black Bull Music Inc. 1976); see also William Li, The Ironic Set-up, 3 of 4 (2004), available at http://http://wmli.blogspot.com/2004/04/ironic-set-up-i-can-hardly-think-of.html (ruining a straight-faced reference with an this ironic citation).

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

195,000 of 250,000 Provisional Ballots seems like a lot to assume you got

OHIO Election Night 2004 : Race Summary

Although I am not surprised that Kerry, having spent all of the Democrat's money in this failed bid for the White House, will not conceed. As a practical matter, it doesn't seem likely that he actually did win Ohio.

What wasn't clear when I went to bed was just how much of a disaster this strategy was for the Democrats. It's akin to the Nixon re-election, where Nixon spent so much of his party's money that the lost both House and Senate seat, plus state elections, plus Nixon didn't even get to be president (ok, ok, there was also the Watergate thing but you get what I'm saying)

Here is the link I should have posted

-
-
Ohio Election Night 2004 Results
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80

60
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President/Vice President
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/SingleRaceSummary.aspx?race=PP
President/Vice President
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
Bush, George W.Republican2,783,91550.96%
Kerry, John F.Democratic2,653,34948.57%
Badnarik, Michael 14,2850.26%
Peroutka, Michael Anthony11,5920.21%
Cobb, David Keith-WI240.00%
Schriner, Joe -WI140.00%
Duncan, Richard A.-WI50.00%
Zych, Thomas F.-WI50.00%
Harris, James -WI00.00%
Parker, John T.-WI00.00%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT

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State Issue 1
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/SingleRaceSummary.aspx?race=IS1
State Issue 1
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
Yes 3,190,40661.63%
No 1,986,51238.37%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT

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U.S. Senate
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/SingleRaceSummary.aspx?race=S1
U.S. Senate
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
Voinovich, George V.Republican3,366,73563.88%
Fingerhut, Eric D.Democratic1,903,37336.11%
Meyers, Helen -WI4440.01%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT

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Chief Justice of the Supreme Court
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/RaceDetail.aspx?race=CJ
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
Moyer, Thomas J.2,299,27253.32%
Connally, C. Ellen 2,012,58646.68%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT

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Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court - 01/01/05
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/RaceDetail.aspx?race=J1
Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court - 01/01/05
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
Lanzinger, Judith Ann2,434,21857.02%
Fuerst, Nancy A.1,834,55342.98%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT

-
Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court - 01/02/05
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/RaceDetail.aspx?race=J2
Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court - 01/02/05
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
Pfeifer, Paul E.3,295,321100.00%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT

-
Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court - 12/31/06
http://election.sos.state.oh.us:80/results/RaceDetail.aspx?race=J3
Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court - 12/31/06
Office CandidatePartyVotes% Of Votes
O'Donnell, Terrence 2,492,10760.48%
O'Neill, William M.1,628,28339.52%

Ohio Secretary of State
Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:04:58 GMT


On last thought for the night: a team of international experts tell the US, "No offense but your system bites"

Global monitors find faults

Yeah? Well what do you know! Did your country invent the airplane? Did your country put a man on the moon? Is your country where Elvis is from?

I didn't think so.

USA! USA! USA!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Sour Grapes - Well it looks like voter intimidation has won the day

OHIO Election Night 2004 : Race Summary

Given the margin of victory, I imagine that the GOP could have won the state without resorting to cheating. "What? We were sending people to the polls to prevent cheating."

My left eye.

"You look like you are not a red-blooded American. You look too poor, or foreign, or minority to be a real voter. Show me your drivers license! Are you going to vote Republican? I am going to check to see if you voted in the Republican primary. If you did not then I am going to call Equifax and mess up your credit. If you own a small business, I will call all the regulatory agencies to bother you."

Anyway... this is what we can expect people will say as a means of contesting the result.

Also, Kerry is not Gore and the Democrats are no longer the same Democrats of 2000. I don't think that they will back down from a legal fight "for the good of the country"

On the other hand... the whole effort by the GOP to defeat the "Get out the vote" effort is equally ugly; even rascist, quite frankly.

So that's the choice - very ugly.

You know what would have worked much better? A really good candidate. Either party could have produced one that would have trounced the other one.

I had a long rant here about plausible positions that each candidate could have taken that was slightly more candid about what they really thought. I took it out. Instead I'll say if one or the other candidate had done it, this race would not had been close at all. If both candidates had done it, this race might have been close but at least the choice would have been clearer.

Election nite is Autumn romantic

Election coverage happens at night in an atmosphere pregnant with anticpation.

I wrote one of the best papers of my Freshman year on the night they elected Clinton. Somebody made a drink that they called the "Bill Clinton" (which like all Rice drink concotions was vodka or everclear mixed with kool-aid, ice and then blended)

I wrote a paper about Book V of The Republic this is where college freshmen mistakenly believe that Socrates was advocating for women's rights. Actually, Socrates was trying to say that this idea was only slightly less ridiculous than the idea of a meritocracy where a Philosopher could be King. In truth, Socrates was a horrific misogynist... even by ancient standards. But I digress. The brunt of the paper was that even in the ""good and true City-State" where women could be educated and serve in the army, men could not give birth of nurse babies.

I can't remember what exactly was the point of that brilliant insight, but I remember making that very emphatically. I am not one given to hyperbole... but I made that point more emphatically that could possibly be made with all of the emotion of Lou Gehrig addressing Yankee Stadium, all the profundity of Neil Armstrong and all the style of the Louis Armstrong. The result had all the lucidity of NEIL GEHRIG

3 of 4

3 of 4

For the love of all things holy--what are they thinking behind the liquor store and the pawn shop?

Maybe Bobby D started talking to Eric, and they are part of an anti-blog conspiracy, whereby the Basque peoples overthrow our confused country by slowly removing all references to ________s on the internet.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Dakota crashed my browser and killed my blog entry but

I finally saw the interviews on 'Sabado Gigante' and here are my impressions:

1. Bush should have killed but didn't. I don't remember him coming off so badly or appearing so clueless as Governor. Loads of people say that Bush appeals to the "common man" but that's nonsense, he seems like he's lying when he says stuff to the effect of "this is a stronger, safer, less divided country now than when I was elected" and "I can relate to the Hispanic community because they love God and so do I." Really, he was much better when he was in Austin surrounded by Texans who - (a) Are Latino (b) Are Texans (c) Were straight with the Gov. (d) Are Texans

2. Kerry seemed exactly like the unlikeable person who he is, which is annoying. Annoying because he seems like the person who would do or say anything just to be liked but when given the chance... can't. I read a NY Times article about Kerry in boarding school as a teenager, and other stuff about his Vietnam service and about his anti-war stuff and about his Senatorial service. Apparently none of his peers have ever liked him. He's always been stuffy and arrogant and a hardnose and pompous. Oh well...

3. I am very impressed with the interview style of Don Francisco, he is Oprah-like in his ability to ask good questions without being disrespectful or bullying. The candidates degrade themselves by giving canned rather than candid answers. Oh well...

4. Immediately after the interviews, the audience threw velcro wiffle balls at a target in order to gain a chance to pick a number which was a contest to spin a wheel five times in order to win a car, a 2005 Ford Focus. The finalist, a middle aged lady who looked very sensible, won $3000. She also had two out of three matches for the car. She had the chance to risk it all and go for the car on one spin of the wheel. That was a 1 in 4 chance and she stuck with the money. Good plan.

5. There is something refreshing about candidates being interviewed on a game show. True, Sabado Gigante is so much more than a mere game show. Somehow it does not come off as pandering the way Clinton on Arensio or Kerry on the Daily Show comes off as pandering. This is a tribute to the host and to the clear focus of the producers at Univision.

6. Speaking of pandering, all these Rock stars did concerts to drum up support for Kerry. Why did Kerry go on MTV and talk about sexual orientation rather than shreading on his Martin?

7. As I walked around the neighborhood with my daughter, I overhead other parents tut-tuting about people who don't give out candy on Halloween. "Those are Democrats, I don't think they approve of Halloween" "Those are Republicians, are they allowed to celebrate Halloween." Sigh, it used to be that political parties were about a difference in ideas. Now its all about Red Vs Blue which is funny and then someone runs it with the BFG and blasts it all to pieces.
"Too late or still too soon too soon to make lots of bad love and there's no time for sorrow. Run around, run around with a hole in your head 'til tomorrow."
-----They Might Be Giants