I was recently eliminated in a competition

but luckily it wasn't for staredown

For those of you keeping track...

Just an update. I plateaued for a while, but things seem to be moving again.

Stephen Klineberg once said...

...in his lecture about the nature of human nature that there are few things more terrifying than someone who actually wants to become President of the United States and then does become President of the United States.

After this elegant quote, Klineberg went to make a point. I forget what it was, but I was nevertheless impressed by his eloquence. I imagine that Klineberg has a lot of students like that: love the lecture, miss the point.

Perhaps this is why he said "Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" so many times and in so many different ways, hoping at least once it would stick. And his point is well taken, even if I don't understand what "Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" means.

That's not true, I understand that Klineberg means that in 2008 we need a leader who can reinforce concrete American values. We need a leader who can support a stable platform for peace and prosperity. We need a leader who can help Americans step up to a higher place.

"Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" means that we should have an anonymous slab of composite building material poured into a stairwell mould and elevated to the highest role of public office. America is ready for Re-Bob.

Dakota's plans

Amy, Dakota will most likely be elected president, and then in a fit of frenzy, after some crazy intrigue, some lame-o will be coerced into nominating her supreme emporer, everyone will agree, and then, she will have a galactic empire to run. With the help of her underling (little brother), Darth Jason.

If I wasn't too tired, I would stage a photo of this and post it. But I am, so I won't.

blah.

Options

William, wouldn't it be easiest to make Don Mattingly president? Maybe with Obama, maybe with Gates. Your choice. Personally, I favor Dakota.

Curse William Li's steel-trap mind!

In response to his last post, I was going to write a hilarious mock letter:

Dear Mr. Li:

This law firm represents a mass of concrete cement and re-bar ("Re-Bob").

It has come to our attention that you have created a website... etc.

But as ever, William is one step ahead of me. Re-Bob is public domain, available under a Creative Commons license! Curses, foiled again!

Ceasing and desisting. (also... Re-Bob for president)

Oprah- I have said before that you and Bill Gates should be co-presidents of the united states. Although this was meant as an ironic statement, I didn't know that you were going all injunction-ballastic on other people who said it for real. As a result, I am giving my actual notice to you and the world: I no longer want you to be president.

My ironic endorsement for president now goes to a mass of concrete cement and re-bar. I shall dub this candidate "Re-Bob" and in all future witty comments about the state of national politics (either on this blog on in life) I will make or think about making an oblique but witty reference to Re-Bob.

George: Hire Don Mattingly

Dear Mr. Steinbrenner, supreme emenance of the New York Yankees and all-around humble guy,

Sure...I love Lou Pinella also. Seriously though, throwing temper tantrums and critisizing club management tends to rankle you, so why hire a GM who has done both? Consider the noble slugger turned coach Don Mattingly.

Listen to me George, Joe Torre is a fallen hero. His stature was such that you just let him keep the show running even in years when the roster looked old and busted. But now that the best Yankees team in a decade has blown it, it's time for to go with a new GM. Everyone agrees with you about this, for once. You nevertheless need someone of equal stature. Mattingly was the model for Derek Jeter. The players revere him, as do the fans. Everyone will respond to his message and if this most talented Yankees team that won an insane 97 games in the regular season but laid a gigantic egg against the Tigers doesn't win the series in '97, you can always Billy Martin him.

(Oh Billy... how we miss your antics).

Your friend, although sometimes I hate you,

William Li

Something to look at while procrastinating

This clever commercial done by Spike Jonze:

Bazooka Joe is a keen wit.

I have always found Bazooka Joe to be a riotious chortle. In my halcyon days of youth, I would sit in the school bus and have a good belly laugh. Oh, the laughing that I would have! Such laughing as one has never heard!

I would laugh so much that some good friends would want to know the nature of my ailment, and I would tell them, "This Bazooka Joe comic is a source of intense amusement for me!"

I was well known amongst my peers for such keen observations. My actions were often remarked upon for their distinctiveness, for I am mirth incarnate! Hark!