An alternative title for this blog entry was going to be "Old Spice" but there is so much more comedy to be mined here than a pun.First of all: McCormick should be mocked for stealing the advertising concept of STRIDE CHEWING GUM, except that the McCormick people actually put an AWESOME WEB APP that tells me "Your product was manufactured on 7/15/1987"
And thanks to VH1, I don't even have to work hard to wax nostalgic about 1987.
Seriously, this almost (but not quite) beats the gigantic can of tomato soup that Andy Chen gave us as a house warming gift.
Was it to eat or as an object d'art?
Isn't eating just a form of "performance art"?
Isn't all art just consumption?
Isn't the point of the movie "Moulin Rouge" that "love conquers greed but consumption conquers Nicole Kidman"?
Was it to eat or as an object d'art?
Isn't eating just a form of "performance art"?
Isn't all art just consumption?
Isn't the point of the movie "Moulin Rouge" that "love conquers greed but consumption conquers Nicole Kidman"?
Second:
Where did this Turmeric come from? The possible source are-
1. I obtained it from one of my roommates
2. Louren brought it from Florida
3. One of Louren's parents got it from one of their parents
4. Someone left it at our house.
5. Baltimore
The correct answer is "Apple Core, Baltimore, who's your friend...?" ME!
Third:
A Harold Pinter Play in One Act
[William enter stage right holding ancient can of Turmeric]
WILLIAM: It still smells like Tumeric! [pronounced like two words - "Tumor" and "Rick"]
LOUREN: Do you even know what Turmeric is supposed to smell like? I don't even know what recipes call for it.
WILLIAM: You add it to Béchamel to make Béarnaise sauce.
LOUREN: That's Tarragon.
WILLIAM: Oh.
[curtain]
Fourth:
Didn't Magellan die trying to go to the supermarket trying to pick up some Turmeric?
By "go" I mean "circumnavigate planet earth in a starship" by "starship" I mean "Jefferson Airplane" and
by "Jefferson Airplane" I mean "a boat less seaworthy than my Boy Scout Regatta Rubber-band propelled sloop" and
by supermarket I mean "The Philippines" and
by "pick up some Turmeric" I mean "forcibly subjugate thousands of natives with a force of a few dozen scurvy-mad recently released convicts"
....
I believe that Magellan's last words were "should have gone to Baltimore"
