A tableau of Charlie Brown with his earnest tree, rendered in aluminum with electrical lights

Dakota says, "its a christmas miracle! " And you know... it sorta is.

Midnight Oil lead singer now an Australian Cabinet Minister (America's Rock n Roll administration)

How awesome. I know that I've previously discussed how Bruce Springsteen should be the Democratic nominee, but I must say that I love the idea of rock stars in Politics. Therefore without further ado. Here is the cabinet of the Springsteen Administration:

Department of Agriculture
Secretary John "Cougar" Mellencamp
www.usda.gov

Department of the Interior
Secretary Willie Nelson
www.doi.gov

Department of Commerce
Secretary Grace Slick (No Corporate Rock? No, Corporate Rocks!)
www.doc.gov

Department of ...And Justice For All
Attorney General James Allen Hetfield
www.usdoj.gov

Department of Defense
Secretary Chuck Norris (he is so a Rock star. Oh yeah? Fine, you tell him.)
www.defenselink.mil

Department of Labor
Secretary James Brown (do not respond with your Techno music refrain!)
www.dol.gov

Department of Education
Secretary Murray Cook (hands in the air, rockabye your bear, bears are now asleep, sh sh shhhhhhhh!)
www.ed.gov

Department of State
Secretary Bono
www.state.gov

Department of Pure Energy
Secretary Paul Robb ("I wanna know, what you're thinking")
www.energy.gov

Department of Traffic
Secretary Steve Winwood
www.dot.gov

Department of Health & Human Services
Secretary Mike Stipe (because everybody hurts... sometimes)
www.hhs.gov

Department of the Treasury
Secretary Sean "Puffy" Combs (I just wanted to give a shout-out to the diddy)
www.ustreas.gov

Department of Homeland Security ... President Springsteen would break up this poorly conceived monstrosity and revert to managable executive departments.

Department of Veterans Affairs
Secretary Chuck Norris (no, I'm serious... What do you mean he can't be in charge of two different executive branch departments? You tell him if you want to get your face busted in so badly)
www.va.gov


Department of This Is Not My Beautiful House
Secretary David Byrne
www.hud.gov

Mr. Chime Mere He, as it is now; the 2nd verse.

Apparently on "Heroes" there is a problem with strain 138. This is not the first time that this has happened. Read this carefully.

Clemens was wrong, however, the illness is not within advertising but within holiday times. Now for the infection:


Many people who dislike Techno music in general will nonetheless admit that there is something infectious about the throbbing bass beat. I like the disco-vibe of a speeded up "Tom-Tom Club." boom-CHICKA-boom BOOM becomes:

boomCHickaboombooM boomCHickaboombooM
boomCHickaboombooM boomCHickaboombooM

And on and on...

The rhythms itself is so rich that it needs barely anything extra to become a really catchy song. Just add some percussive sleighbells, maybe the wah-wah of the occasional tubular bells in sort of a doorbell "ding-dong" and add "Animal" from the "Muppet Show" singing the first four words of "Jingle Bells" and you have a song.

The song can last hours

...days even.

In fact, it can last all the way to X-mass. X-mass being the critical mass at which your brain laden with the relentless


JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS!
(boomCHickaboombooM boomCHickaboombooM) [Ding-dong! Ding-Dong!]
JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS!
(boomCHickaboombooM boomCHickaboombooM)


'slodes

Things that matter at grocery

Things that matter at grocery store: it should big, well lit, good prices, intuitive layout, and fast checkout.


Is that so much to ask?

What do you get when you cross a "Donkey", some bull, and a lame duck? Lotus Notes 8

No, its not an insult of Lotus Notes 8 that I made up. Its an insult to the world that IBM made up in the form of an advertisement campaign.

I know I've complained before that IBM has the worst advertising in the world, but it bears repeating. Seriously, IBM is one of the few companies whose advertisements reach a level of stupidity that truly appalls and offend me.


Here are some more animals that IBM should have made to describe the state of their product:

• An Albatross-> Notes has a huge span of features that makes it unstable and clumsy.


• A White Elephant -> Market share is getting smaller and smaller


• A Pig -> Oink! Oink! I'm eating bandwidth. Oink! Oink! I'm devouring your SAN. Oink! Oink! More processors! More!


• Bigfoot -> BAM! You don't see my footprint on the desktop because you are in the valley left by it.


• The Sphinx -> #08:08 This is not an emoticon, its an error message. I know, it's cryptic, just like the...


• A Sloth -> You want to get through the tangle but this hairy beast just hangs.


• Frankenstein's Monster-> A soulless and malevolent (IMAP non-compliant) reincarnation of parts of bodies long thought dead (PLATO, cc:mail, "@"functions macro language); all accursed. Abandoned in disgust/terror by its creator (Ray Ozzie) and serving as a cautionary tale to others embarking on such hubris-tic quests (Google), such as heading into frozen lifeless wastelands ("blogspot").

Do I actually feel this way about the product? No, and that's the point.


The advertising makes me think up all these cheap-shot complaints, and notwithstanding their validity, these cheap-shot complaints are so pithy and amusing to me that it sticks in my head.

That's bad advertising. Not "so bad its good" but "so bad that the Boards of Directors at both IBM and the ad agency ought to apologize"

Yuck!

Well, if A-rod doesn't follow Torre and Mattingly he's cuckoo

My favorite part of Fletch is where Chevy punches the photograph of Tommy Lasorda.

Anyhow, I am really going to root for the Astros now, at least whenever they play the Dodgers. Not that I blame any of the should-be coaches in exile.

Its like the 80s are back. I can cheer the players when the Yanks win and BOO!!! Steinbrenner when they lose.

"Can Google kill PowerPoint?" Ha!

Can Google kill PowerPoint? asks By Paul Boutin of Slate Magazine

"No," he answers.

"No kidding," I reply.

But what he really should have done is retort like this.