Independance Day Advice

The 4th of July is the greatest holiday ever because it celebrates the the greatest country ever: USA! USA! USA!

Here are my tips for a safe enjoyable holiday.

1. Don't hold lit fireworks in your hand. No its not funny.
2. Remember when Kurt Cobain said "I want to eat your cancer when it turns black" he was talking about you and your bad grilling technique. Use propane with lava rocks. Propane is God's gas, just ask Hank Hill. If you are using charcoal, you will need to put aluminum foil down to keep the soot off your meat. (E Hewett, this is what I forgot to do at your place). Get grill very hot first. If you have your hand 6 inches away from grill and it gets uncomfortable afte a very short time, you are ready to go. Put steak diagonally across grill for 2 minutes, use spatula to rotate 90 degrees clockwise (counter clockwise if you are a left), wait 2 minutes. Flip. Don't touch that steak until its ready. It will be ready in 2-8 minutes depending on how well you want it cooked. BTW, the steak continues to cook after you've pulled it off the grill, so no its not undercooked. By the time you get it to the table any have added your ironic helping of salad on the side, it will be perfect. Also, here is what I have decided about marinates - good for chicken and fish, bad for steak. Go with a dry rub or cracked pepper and salt. My advice for steak also applies for burgers, except that you may want to have and aluminum sheet even for propane and flip it onto the aluminum sheet and leave it be for the longer end of the spectrum (i.e. don't eat rare burgers) but not for other beef cuts like ribs or brisket (which requires a smoker which is a different piece of equipment entirely). Chicken, fish, sausages, and vegetables are all more complicated and won't be covered by this post.
3. Wear sunscreen.