The odious State, blindingly hewn in doubt

Just to amuse myself, I sometimes try to think of clever post-modern superheroes. The other day, I was thinking about the problems that FEMA officials reportedly have had with names that are commonplace in Southern Louisiana, but strange to the insensitive ear of the "Washington Beauraucrats" such that they could not correctly spell or say such tricky names as "Morris" and "Bergeron."

Our course, such hyperbole annoys the living carp outta me. I'll guess that the article was written because of some anecdote, the substance of which is that "Bergeron Morris" was put down as "Morris Bergeron" and as a result got sent to the refuge camp in Alaska rather than to the Astrodome. In the spirit of such hyperbole, I present:

SUPER PERSONNEL PERSON: The power to correctly say or spell any name from a single time reading or hearing it. This power would be unlimited, such that SUPER PERSONNEL PERSON would instantly know, which of the fourty possible pronouncations of "Milo Machinery" was correct. Morever a shivering imp of a man with no teeth who stated his name as "Ger mur mur Mig yergle le pig leg" would be correctly typed up as Jim Kltpzyxm.


Back to the 5th dimension with ye!