When in doubt, you can always talk about figures of speech

Slate featured this article by some tedious dictionary editor about how "literally" is sometimes used to mean "figuratively." The article, in a nutshell, admits that this is so and advises that there is no sense complaining about it. People should just get over it.

People need help getting over things, they need something else to beat up. In that spirit, I submit that people should instead get tough on the expression: "Don't make me laugh!"

What a heartless world this is where you command people to cease all humor! Of course, the underlying sentiment is that the person speaking is such a bold-faced liar, that it might be humorous in a different context. Nevertheless, the speaker of the phrase perpetuates the sin of a mirthless world. (Theologians if you think a world withould mirth is not a sin, then you are ugly and your mother dresses you funny)

I had a punchline here, but I just eclipsed it with my parenthetical comment. Oh, what the heck...

Instead of saying "don't make me laugh" people should just call the person a liar in a way that is just as icy, but has a touch of mirth and is evokative of our rich linguistic heritage. I propose that whenever one would say "Don't make me laugh" the phrase "thou speakth with a fork-ed tounge!" should be used instead. It works better if you say it with a "one eyebrow raised, one eyebrow lowered" scowl.

Try it in a meeting, or in casual conversation amongst friends. See what kind of reaction it gets. You'll be the envy of everyone in the room. Literally!