this, but in any case, there ought to be at least one post about
Karaoke.
I re-watched "Duets" on cable the other day. As much as I'd like to be
more like Huey Lewis (and to sing like him too) the fact is that I am
more easily identifiable as Paul Giamatti. I think most working
professional men are, so its not a particularly stunning insight.
That said, there are many things the movie gets right and more that
the movie gets wrong. So in no particular order:
1. Karaoke contests are a rarity. The movie depicts a pro-am
underground of karaoke singers akin to "the color of money" (not akin
to "the hustler") but so far, I have only been in one Karaoke contest,
although I missed the Halloween "scary-oke" contest. Which brings me
to my next point:
2. Karaoke is extremely corny and the people who sing regularly are
nerds, like me. Except for Huey Lewis (who has made it hip to be
square) and Maria Bello, the movie is very accurate on this point.
3. The crowd is mainly indifferent unless you are awesome or
extremely terrible. Most people eek out an unimpressive middle. Paul
Giamatti on beta blockers getting the rock star treatment just doesn't
happen.
4. If you don't jump up on stage when you are called, you get skipped.
Maria Bello puking in the can... would get skipped.
5. True dorks bring their own CDs. Except now its a USB thumb drive
and the KJ kinda doesn't mind because it increases his catalog, but
Huey Lewis gettin his a** kicked for being the jerk with his own
special personal version of "Lonely Teardrops" is accurate in spirit.
Most places are not alright for fighting, not even on Friday nite.
6. Its better to have a friend. You don't need to know them all that
well either. So, a hitch-hiking escaped con, your newly discovered
illigetimate daughter, or a down-on-his-luck cabbie will definetely
fit the bill. Your local meetup.com group or the regular gang at the
watering hole will fill in those blanks, and that brings me to the
point of this post.
7. Singing is what you do for about 8 minutes of a 2 to 5 hour
evening. Most of the night, you will be working the nerve up and then
waiting. Have something else to do, preferably talking to your friends
and not getting fubar.
Here are some afterthoughts not related to the movie:
8. I think its ok to watch the TVs at a bar, not just special sports
events like the NCAA tourney. Its there and its on for a reason. You
don't have two or more TVs set up next to each other in your house, do
you? So relax and enjoy the Rockets, a re-run of "The Practice",
Jackie Chan and american sidekick buddy movie, and sham-wow commercial
all at once. You aren't being rude to the person singing.
9. But you can't play the jukebox during Karaoke.
10. If you are going to get up and dance to someone singing, the time
to do it is right before the first chorus. That way you know the
singer isn't butchering your song but there is still enough song left.
11. Karaoke night does not make a bad place better. But you and your
group taking over karaoke night can make any place fun... For you and
your group.
12. A good KJ can run a fun karaoke with even a bare minimum of songs
and the equivalent of a home boombox with a B and W monitor. A bad KJ
can destroy even the best setup.
13. The bartender likes tips. The KJ likes drinks. If its backwards
and the bartender drinks and the KJ has a cash tip jar: leave.
14. Caveat on #2, karaoke is sometimes also enjoyed by really really
old people. Its nice to have one person much older than the rest of
the crowd to be colorful, but a bunch of old people together means
you've walked into an old person bar.
15. There are a lot of great country songs to sing, and if you hear 5
in a row... You've walked into a country bar. If you hear 5 songs in a
row either in spanish or an asian language... You've walked into a
latino or asian bar. You will not get the same indicators for Celtic
themed bars.
16. Use your smartphone to lookup the lyrics before you go onstage.
Really you should do that even before you pick the song. You might be
surprised at how you only know one line to "I want you back (abc 123)"
or "come on eileen"
--
Sent from my mobile device
