Anyhow, I am not referring to Christmas or "Winter Holidays" but Xmas, the absurd post post post modern (modern modern.... Echo echo echo) holiday that Charles Schulz and even Dakota ("People think the X sounds like Christ? Who came up with that?") think are fake.
I got so sick of Xmas music that over the years I have purchased "a muppet christmas", "a twisted christmas" (d synder), "christmas is 4 ever" (boots e collins), and "aquatic vampyres battle dolphin paladins: a christmas opera" (not really, but wouldn't that be awesome?), just to cut the sickly sweet frappe of cheese (tasty) with something else; anything.
The epitome of this cheez is the movie "love actually" which involves a really "inspirational" cover of "(all eye) want 4 x-mas (is) U" originally ghostwritten for Mariah Carey. Its super easy to take pot shots at ol' Maraiah, and very clever, so let's focus on the cheez.
What's so great about that song? The lyrics? Sing it. Don't look it up. Now look it up. Did you get them right? If you did, you are excused to resume reading your dog-eared copy of "Us" magazine. But before you go... Your schmaltzy rendition of that yoddle without a< melody is what passes for a "hit"
In that spirit, I invite everyone to sing along schmaltzily to my Xmass hit:
Xmas comes at Xmas time;
Xmas cheer with Xmas love
All around the Xmas tree
Merry Xmas--- you and me
(Refrain)
Xmas Xmas Xmas Xmas!
Xmas! Xmas-Xmas, Xmas.
Xmas! Xmas! Xmas!
Xma-aaaaasss!
How does the melody go? Do you pronounce the X in Xmas as X like X-ray or like the Charlie Crist? Do you want to sing other lyrics? Go for it.
IT'S UP TO YOU!!!! Just be schmaltzy
