Certain things are set pieces and then they come to life. I am sure that Yogi Berra as not the first person to say, "It's like Deja Vu all over again." Nevertheless, we just like the enigmatic catcher so darn much that we attribute hackneyed jokes to him.

Its just like Jello.

Why "24" if the worst show ever (Canonical Rant with Straw Man)

I have a certain amount of tolerance for the nonsense technospeak that they do on TV shows. But 24 is really the worst. It is as if there is someone on the writing staff that knows how to say things just wrong enough to really irk people.

Last night Tony Alemeida discovered to his horror that his wife was being held hostage by terrorists. I was horrified to discover that he typed in an illegal IP address to see the streaming video.

"But... But... But..."

But nothing. If the writers know that IP addresses are four octets, they ought to know what that the valid ranges are.

"its like when they start telephone numbers with 555"

No... it isn't.

A picture of a Donkey Dressed up like Carmen Miranda

For years I've flubbed a joke based on the lyrics to I WISH by King Missile.

This particular joke would come in to play if I was at a restaurant with friends and there was one of those photobooths. Whenever you have would of those things within sight, the conversation would naturally turn to talking about how great those things are and how fun it is to have four itsy bitsy pictures of yourself making funny faces, all in a row.

I would then make my joke:

If I had a restaurant, there would be a photobooth, but it would have a twilight zone twist. There would be a sign written in all spooky letters "This booth takes a picture of your soul." But the catch is: every picture would be of a Donkey Dressed like Carmen Miranda.

But of course, the line from the song is "a tornado dressed like a statue of Carmen Miranda" so the punchline is flubbed.

Still... it would be a great Twilight Zone ep:

The first person would cry, "Hey! I don't have a Donkey soul!"
And the second person would exclaim, "Hey! I don't have a Carmen Miranda soul!"
And the third person (who would be off Camera) would be like "Hee-haw" and the the camera would pan left-to-right and >>>SUPRISE<<< It'd be an actual donkey dressed up like Carmen Miranda!

Dweedle-doodle-dweedle-doodle-dweedle-doodle.... BAH-BAH-BAH-BUMMM!

If you are watching acshon movies then you are waisting your tyme. S P E L L B O U N D was the most intesne pscyhological drama that I have ever scene!

Dakota says that socks live in SOCKHOLM

This Blog is once again public, but its not on the site feed list. Why so whishy-washy? In truth, I would prefer that that this be a private blog, but that people who hit the "This is a private blog" screen get some sort of way of contacting me to ask to be invited. But on the other hand its free. So...

This blog is public again, damn the torpedoes.

Did you know that my Middle School was named after the guy who said "Damn the torpedoes". When I started going there, I would say "Damn those torpedoes" all the time; for about a week. By then I had blown my cover as a big Dork.

What cover? More self-deception!

The Ironic Set-up

I can hardly think of anything more lame than to post the lyrics of someone else's music as a BLOG entry.

Actual serious post:

The situation with the hostages in Falluja reminds me of the Boxer Rebellion:

Ordinary country folk are transformed into deeply radicalized fighters by a prominent family playing on frustration and humiliation by offering a spiritual reward for violent resistance.

The radicals attack a multinational group of civilians. The attacked citizens are representatives of the various different countries and interests jockeying for influence over the economic colonization of an important resource.

American Marines get bogged down in some brutal combat.

They key difference is that the Chinese didn't have any friendly neighbors who were also allies with the Americans, British or Japanese.

Rock, Paper, Censorship

Canadian wins rock, paper, scissors world title. 27/10/2003. ABC News Online

Rock, Paper, Censorship

Rock cannot withstand bad reviews from critics of papers like NME and Spin but whose content are always subject to being cut and otherwise editors by mechanism of censorship which smashed by the "live free or bite-me" power of rock.

Garneau garknew that uconn would win the Tourney

Out of sure subborness, I picked Duke. I have a cannonical rant about schools like Duke that starts off as rant about Bobby Knight (I know, I know) and ends up being about how Rice should go back to not charging tuition.

There is a variant on this rant that involves me becoming the chairman of the board of Trustees, the appearance of a monolith inside the Sallyport ("no one could every matriculate or graduate"), and complaining about the joke that starts off with Vasco DeGama and a racoon in a canoe in the Hudson River that someone started to tell me on the Metro-North but never finished because he got off in Fleetwood and I stayed on until Tuckahoe.

The point is: I am a very cranky person and need to chill.

Happy Birthday Eric

Dude-

Remember when Daddy Warbucks played The Pope in a made for TV movie?

Well, I do. All I can remember about the movie - and therefore the only thing I can think about whenever I hear about the Pope - is that we couldn't find red socks when he was being made a Cardinal. He and his driver went all around Rome in a panic. Finally Karol Wojtyla had to settle on black socks. He felt bad about it, looking around the room at all the red socks until he saw another guy - also a Cardinal - black socks. The other guy shots him a conspiratorial wink and its all good.

Whenever I can't match my socks, either to my outfit or to each other (so just about every day), I am likely to be reminded of that anecdote about the Pope and think, "Well, if the Pope went to this important meeting with the wrong color socks, then I can too."

William, you are going to be made a Cardinal?

Yes. I'll be the greatest Cardinal ever.