Sunday, April 01, 2007

Don't Name Baby Ghengis "Kyan" -- Canonical Rants on Baby Names (mispellings)

Baby Boy Names on reality TV seem more and more to merely be ordinary names with mispellings. That isn't original, it's illiteral.

Please do not name baby Ghengis "Kyan". It is not a good compromise between "Kevin" and "Ryan" it just looks like the top of the name got cut off when the birth certificate form got Xeroxed.

If someone came up to me and said, "Hello, my name is Kyan." I would d think, "oh... like the pepper." Then Kyan would be like "no... with a K!"

Alternatively, I'd think, "Maybe the parents had a dog named 'Blue' and they just thought that they'd pick a classy synonym for blue and just missspelled it..."

Other first names that are just... wrong:

Palph (Even "Balph" is a clever reference to Atlas Shrugged, but "Palph" is just moronic)
Robelt
Frod
Jomh
Any name heard on ST:TNG, which was meant for a space alien but is just lazy writing. Well, congratulations, lazy writer, you've ruined the names "J-lon" and "Darmok" for me.

"Will, it was a subtle reference because he was the Freedom fighter who captured Dr. Crusher in order to get her to save lives, and Jalen means..."

be quiet, lazybones writer! It does not mean that. And even if it does, that just means you are L-A-Z-Y, with one semesters worth of ancient Greek in college. And you got a "C+"
"Too late or still too soon too soon to make lots of bad love and there's no time for sorrow. Run around, run around with a hole in your head 'til tomorrow."
-----They Might Be Giants