Summer Villians

Trav's latest post made me think about something I have been meaning to post about: things about summer that I am supposed to like, but don't. Simultaneously, I have been thinking about posting about comic book super-villians for a new era. So in the interest of both having my cake and also having a food fight:

The Pool. I can't swim. It's humilating but true. I sink like a rock. It's not for a lack of trying to learn either. This is not to be cornfused with a water park, which is awesome.	The Sudukoan. In the tradition of "The Riddler" and "The Puzzler" and "Toyman" and "Nasty Canasta" comes a foe wielding an evil combination of Sudoko and Zen Kohan-based villanous conundrums
Picnics. Except for church picnics, which are civilized affairs with watermelon and all the mayonaise salads (egg, potato, chicken, tuna), I hate siting on some bench that hurts my back and the checkered blanket thing is even worse, clean up is always a problem and the sandwiches are always soggy.	Hackney Cliche aka The Archnemesis once a friend to the superhero, but twisted by a corrupt heart, the archnemesis manages to overcome the superhero time after time, only to have the superhero slip away from the Archnemsis' deadly clutches moments before his nefarious plan is complete, but the Archnemesis always manages to get away at the last minute in his escape vehicle and shouts something like "Curse you, superhero! You've foiled my plan! But you'll never take me alive! You'll rue the day to crossed the path of The Archnemesis!"
Camping. I've had two sets of experiences to inform camping: Boy Scouts, which was pretty terrible, and Bike trips that I took in high school, which was pretty great. Based on that: when a campground is a cheap alternative to a hotel on an epic journey, that's fantastic. When some stinkin forest is the destination and the quality of your experience is equal to the ridiculousness of how much you spent at REI... bleah. Also the woods are dark and scary, the Blair Witch might get me.	Jargonizer. Archenemy of "Super Personnel Person", Jargonizer robustly interfaces, engages, and incentivizes his high-value team-members to synergistically execute fresh and innovative strategies. Jargonizer seeks the tipping point, to disrupt the status quo and create transformative coopetition in the marketspace with other "disruptive thought leaders", by leverging core competences and actively engaging challenges.