I am Oh-AH-Tu the Omniscient Observer of Alternate Musical Realities, a totally original but satirical character not at all infringing on the copyright of Marvel comics (see Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, 510 U.S. 569 (1994).), and I am here to explore if Huey Lewis and the News had focused more on the prodigious blues harp skill of their front man. What would have been the result?
Look into my spooky glowing eyes as I wave my left hand behind me making life difficult for a cartoonist un-used to rendering foreshortening on MS Paint. I think we will need some sound effects to travel the 5th dimension.
Anyone? Anyone?
Oh, fine........
Deedlediddlydoo! Deedlediddlydoo! Deedlediddlydoo! WAHWahhwahhwah waaaaaaa....
For Starters, John Popper would have been the owner of a fanboy 'zine shop and died a virgin. Oh-AH-Tu sheds a rare tear for loser fanboys everywhere.
Okay... but what about "Fore"? It would have been called "Foure" and these would have been the tracks:
"Jacob's Ladder"
"Run-Around"
"Whole Lotta Lovin'"
"Stuck with You"
"Fallible"
"Freedom"
"Doing all the Crash and Burn for My Baby"
"Hip to Be Square"
"Hook"
"Jacob's Ladder (Reprise)"
It would have been a killer success that would have staved off the rise of the Seattle Flannel grunge scene in favor of a "white oxford shirt with top collar button opened, narrow tie losened, and Rayban Aviators" wearin middle-class Blues scene. Kurt Cobain would be alive today as a judge on "American Idol" but Eddie Veder would have been beaten to death by an angry mob of A&R people from the record label.
Eric Hewett and David Miller would have had a one hit wonder "Uncouth Knuth"
Is this world better or worse? I do not judge, I merely Observe.
