Birthday In Hell

A man, whose birthday has passed without remark for years, is thrown a surprise party on his 36th birthday, so surprising is this that he immediately dies and goes to hell-- unbeknowst to him. The deamons, look exactly like the party guests and begin with some insensitive remarks dressed up as birthday party sentiment.

Then the eternal tourture begins:

They sing the birthday song. Followed by

"How old are you now?
How old are you now?
How OLD ARE YOU no-ow?
How old are you now?"

To which he involuntarily responds in the format;

"I'm thirtysix years old now.
I'm thirtysix years old now.
I'm THIRTYSIX YEARS OLD no-ow.
I'm thirtysix years old now."

Complete with singing "thirtysix" faster in order to cram the sylables into the song like a bloated middle-age man into his varisty letter jacket.

But then, it doesn't end, they sing:

"So cut the cake now,
So cut the cake now,
So CUT THE CAKE no-ow,
So cut the cake now.

"I'll cut the cake now,
I'll cut the cake now,
I'll CUT THE CAKE no-ow.
I'll cut the cake now." He repliess gamely, not yet fully aware that he's in hell

"May I have a piece?
May I have a piece?
May I HAVE A  peee-eece...
May I have a piece?"
Sings his demon-as-friend, Bob

"That's really funny, Bob." he sings, eyes widening as he continues,
"That's really funny, Bob."
And straining not to he nevertheless sings, "that's REALLY FUNNY Baaaaa-aaaahb! That's really funny, Bob."

"What's funnyaboutwanting cake?
What's funnyaboutwanting cake?
What's FUNNNY'BOUTWANTIN cay-ache?
What's funnyaboutwanting cake?"

"What's going on here?
I cantstop singingthis song?
Is THIS SOME KINDA jo-ke?
What's going on here?"

"No, you are in hell,
No, you are in hell,
No, YOU ARE IN helll-ellle,
No, you are in hell." Chant the deamons, revealing themselves in their true form and chaining Bob from the hang-down flourescent lights and commencing to rend his flesh with cake cutters and char his sinnew with birthday candles as Bob screams (in format, for a little counter-point harmony)

Then the entire cast turns to the blog audience and sings:

"Now its in your head,
You'll do it all day!
Every THING THAT YOU sa-ay!
Will be sung this way."