Friday, February 25, 2005
My brother is famous!
Well, in Knoxville, TN anyway. I have always told people that my brother is a Lorax, speaking for the trees and all that. And now I have proof.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
At least somebody in our house is sleeping...
Well, and Dakota sleeps pretty well at night, but not during "nap time" at school.
Today they called me at 11:00 to pick her up, due to her complaints of a "tummy ache" which I was pretty sure was not entirely real. As I suspected, the moment her tush hit her carseat, I heard "mommy, my tummy doesn't hurt anymore. Can we go to the park?" Ha ha. Little miss I'm sick went home, got medicine (that she did need for her cough), got jammies on, and got her rear tucked into bed. And she actually took a two hour nap. Thank god for children's robitussin!
And Jason is sleeping better. But they just don't make the itty bitty diapers that a newborn wears quite absobent enough for him to get a fair shot at sleeping through the night. That said, if he only wakes once for a change and a feed, around, say 3 am, that is a good night.
Today they called me at 11:00 to pick her up, due to her complaints of a "tummy ache" which I was pretty sure was not entirely real. As I suspected, the moment her tush hit her carseat, I heard "mommy, my tummy doesn't hurt anymore. Can we go to the park?" Ha ha. Little miss I'm sick went home, got medicine (that she did need for her cough), got jammies on, and got her rear tucked into bed. And she actually took a two hour nap. Thank god for children's robitussin!
And Jason is sleeping better. But they just don't make the itty bitty diapers that a newborn wears quite absobent enough for him to get a fair shot at sleeping through the night. That said, if he only wakes once for a change and a feed, around, say 3 am, that is a good night.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Weird dream
Last night I dream that my life was a movie and that the part of me was played by MORGAN FREEMAN. The studio decided that my life wasn't compelling enough so they made me into some sort of mysterious alien-phoenix type creature who gradually becomes aged and decrepit unless and until I get a particular type of unpronounceable xenoflora, a sort of a bamboo-kudzu looking type of deal. Normally, I keep a concentrate paste of the stuff around to keep me going, but secret agents had taken it out of my medicine cabinet, so I was aging gracelessly and needed to get to Checnya to find the original farmhouse that had the first plant. After some upsetting failures where I arrived too late to stop the agents from destroying the crop, I got to a secret grove where I harvested and ate the raw stalks mixed with olive oil (so... a pesto) which had somewhat of a "Morgan Freeman as level 4 Super Saien" effect. This came in handy because the secret agents were closing in...
That's when the test-screening audiences were given a questionaire. For the most part they found the plot "ludricrous" and "insultingly derivative." They thought that Morgan Freeman was overplaying my part and that the "Checyna as the mystical old-west" conceit made for a lousy movie locale.
That's when the executive producer's cell phone rang. It was the studio. They decided to recoup the investment on this turkey by selling the rights to the Sci-Fi channel. And by the way, he's fired.
Apparently there was a clause in the contract that said that the studio could pay me a lump sum if the property went straight to cable ("non-broadcast televised format") rather than paying me a percentage of the gross for a cinema, live theatre, broadcast television, or DVD-only release. Worse, because Sci-Fi Network were now the owners 1) I lost any claim on residuals 2) The concept of me was now property of Sci-Fi network and I was forced to pay a royalty to them or else immediately desist from being absurd. I told the Sci-Fi network's corporate counsel that I guess I would have to quit being absurd. He laughed in my face. What a jerk!
That's when the test-screening audiences were given a questionaire. For the most part they found the plot "ludricrous" and "insultingly derivative." They thought that Morgan Freeman was overplaying my part and that the "Checyna as the mystical old-west" conceit made for a lousy movie locale.
That's when the executive producer's cell phone rang. It was the studio. They decided to recoup the investment on this turkey by selling the rights to the Sci-Fi channel. And by the way, he's fired.
Apparently there was a clause in the contract that said that the studio could pay me a lump sum if the property went straight to cable ("non-broadcast televised format") rather than paying me a percentage of the gross for a cinema, live theatre, broadcast television, or DVD-only release. Worse, because Sci-Fi Network were now the owners 1) I lost any claim on residuals 2) The concept of me was now property of Sci-Fi network and I was forced to pay a royalty to them or else immediately desist from being absurd. I told the Sci-Fi network's corporate counsel that I guess I would have to quit being absurd. He laughed in my face. What a jerk!
Monday, February 21, 2005
$20 to go to a movie with Dakota seems like a whole lot
particularly for a matinee, but we did get popcorn.
Objectively speaking, Pooh's Heffalump Movie was a decent movie - not terrible anyway. Let me first say, that kid's movies are generally terrible. This is not coming as a movie snob (although the argument could be made that I am one) or as some sort of protective parent (although many kids movies do contain values that I find repugnant). I am just taking a point of view as someone who has seen a lot of movies with his daughter. I know that she likes an interesting story with a structured plot, good characterization, genuine emotion, a little action, a little humor, and a happy ending. So it annoys me to no end the way that movie studios (particularly Disney) can toss out garbage on the assumption that as parents, we have no other choice. For one thing, it's expensive, but that' not the main reason. Certainly, I can wait for most movies to come out on DVD and by then I'll know if its a renter or a buyer. Even mediocre kids movies tend to be a buy (although Dakota has messed up a couple). No, the main thing is that the marginal savings in the animation process and production when you make a low-quality film versus a high quality film are such that there is no reason to make a low-quality animated feature, ever. It's an even worse sin than Mary Worth.
So what was good about this movie that you are definetly not going to see?
I lead off with the digression: I cynically believe that what was good about this movie was totally missed by the Eisner-type people (who only saw an oppurtuntiy to market another stuffed animal when they chose to upgrade this release from direct-to-video to theatrical) but old Walt would have known that this was a good movie and lucky for us, some of those people are still involved in making Disney films.
First of all, it was lovingly hand-animated. I noticed on the credits that Disney had this done by their first-rate Tokyo Animation studio. This was apparently their last project before getting the axe. I feel bad that this group had such a bad rap for making direct-to-video. Their work showed pride and honor in a market that is often shockingly bad.
Second of all, the script is surprisingly dark and subversive. With gentle banality, Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and Rabbit (especially Rabbit) become a case study in the perpetration of biggoted violence. No kidding. Well meaning, but ignorant (and arrogant)... the crew sets off to capture (and imprison) Heffalumps only to return home to find Rabbit's garden and Pooh's pantry have been trashed. Ignorance and fear turn to hysteria and vengefulness. There is a hasty proliferation of homeland security measures: half-backed traps, nets, and other nasty things. At the very next moment, just when Kanga's reasonableness looks like it might have a hope of prevailing, the Heffalump is mistaken as endangering Roo. The inevitable tawdry ending comes and find multiple nooses around the neck of the baby Heffalump - put their by Rabbit, Tigger, Pooh, and Piglet. Of course, all of this is telegraphed in the opening number which describes all the terrible things about Heffalumps... that they are different.
Honestly though, the anti-xenophobia message wasn't what I responded to the most.
There was this non-crucial scene, half a scene really, near the end of the 1st act, where Kanga and Roo are talking. Roo is talking about growing up and Kanga is doing her best to be a loving single Mom. Okay the Carly Simon song (and the Carly Simon soundtrack generally) that followed was a bit annoying but the dialog and the pictures had genuine emotion. Maybe I've grown soft-hearted as a Dad. But, this scense -- It certainly didn't need to be there to develop the plot, and yet... there it was: in the middle of this calculated marketing ploy -- a moment of genuine emotion tucked in between plot exposition and a corny song.
I was impressed for a moment. Then the moment was over.
On an unrelated note, I actually like the Elvis Song about Yoga. I was humming it to myself and smiling, so maybe I just have rotten taste.
Objectively speaking, Pooh's Heffalump Movie was a decent movie - not terrible anyway. Let me first say, that kid's movies are generally terrible. This is not coming as a movie snob (although the argument could be made that I am one) or as some sort of protective parent (although many kids movies do contain values that I find repugnant). I am just taking a point of view as someone who has seen a lot of movies with his daughter. I know that she likes an interesting story with a structured plot, good characterization, genuine emotion, a little action, a little humor, and a happy ending. So it annoys me to no end the way that movie studios (particularly Disney) can toss out garbage on the assumption that as parents, we have no other choice. For one thing, it's expensive, but that' not the main reason. Certainly, I can wait for most movies to come out on DVD and by then I'll know if its a renter or a buyer. Even mediocre kids movies tend to be a buy (although Dakota has messed up a couple). No, the main thing is that the marginal savings in the animation process and production when you make a low-quality film versus a high quality film are such that there is no reason to make a low-quality animated feature, ever. It's an even worse sin than Mary Worth.
So what was good about this movie that you are definetly not going to see?
I lead off with the digression: I cynically believe that what was good about this movie was totally missed by the Eisner-type people (who only saw an oppurtuntiy to market another stuffed animal when they chose to upgrade this release from direct-to-video to theatrical) but old Walt would have known that this was a good movie and lucky for us, some of those people are still involved in making Disney films.
First of all, it was lovingly hand-animated. I noticed on the credits that Disney had this done by their first-rate Tokyo Animation studio. This was apparently their last project before getting the axe. I feel bad that this group had such a bad rap for making direct-to-video. Their work showed pride and honor in a market that is often shockingly bad.
Second of all, the script is surprisingly dark and subversive. With gentle banality, Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and Rabbit (especially Rabbit) become a case study in the perpetration of biggoted violence. No kidding. Well meaning, but ignorant (and arrogant)... the crew sets off to capture (and imprison) Heffalumps only to return home to find Rabbit's garden and Pooh's pantry have been trashed. Ignorance and fear turn to hysteria and vengefulness. There is a hasty proliferation of homeland security measures: half-backed traps, nets, and other nasty things. At the very next moment, just when Kanga's reasonableness looks like it might have a hope of prevailing, the Heffalump is mistaken as endangering Roo. The inevitable tawdry ending comes and find multiple nooses around the neck of the baby Heffalump - put their by Rabbit, Tigger, Pooh, and Piglet. Of course, all of this is telegraphed in the opening number which describes all the terrible things about Heffalumps... that they are different.
Honestly though, the anti-xenophobia message wasn't what I responded to the most.
There was this non-crucial scene, half a scene really, near the end of the 1st act, where Kanga and Roo are talking. Roo is talking about growing up and Kanga is doing her best to be a loving single Mom. Okay the Carly Simon song (and the Carly Simon soundtrack generally) that followed was a bit annoying but the dialog and the pictures had genuine emotion. Maybe I've grown soft-hearted as a Dad. But, this scense -- It certainly didn't need to be there to develop the plot, and yet... there it was: in the middle of this calculated marketing ploy -- a moment of genuine emotion tucked in between plot exposition and a corny song.
I was impressed for a moment. Then the moment was over.
On an unrelated note, I actually like the Elvis Song about Yoga. I was humming it to myself and smiling, so maybe I just have rotten taste.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Winston Churchill - barroom brawler
I like the "hit them over the head with beer bottles" quote. I hope it's true.
In the same vein, he also said (with more reliable attribution), "If this island story of ours is to end, let it end only when each of us lies choking in his own blood upon the ground." Grim, resolute, and far scarier than Dean's scream in Iowa.
In the same vein, he also said (with more reliable attribution), "If this island story of ours is to end, let it end only when each of us lies choking in his own blood upon the ground." Grim, resolute, and far scarier than Dean's scream in Iowa.
Darn you for keeping me honest, Trav
I was going to go off on a tangent where I make fun of my own analysis and academic analysis in general... actually, I still might do that later. I'll keep that in my pocket.
2b- Original I had "a liberal" instead of "the devil" but then I thought the 2nd comment was funnier. Part of the problem with my blog posts is that I can never quite decide if I want to say what I want to say or if I want to parody what I am actually saying. Really I want to do both at the same time, while explaining what I am doing (sort of like now) Anyhow, I think you are dead accurate when you say that its relevant that Karl Rove thinks that Dean is an easy mark. Either he's right or its hubris. Your implied point that Dean won't be able to do his job, might be right but overlooks some things which are important: Relative to the Republicians, the Democrats have been having a hard time getting people who felt apathetic about the major parties to associate with their party. This isn't a crazy idea at all. Most eligible voters, don't vote. More to the results of 2004: Kerry did a great job getting people who normally voted Democrat to actually get to the polls and vote for him. BUT... Bush did a better job in getting people who don't vote at all to start voting (for him). At least, that's the idea there.
2b'/2c- Your Dean quote practically makes my point for me. The head of a political party should be ideologically partisian and untroubled by notions that the other side isn't totally wrong. There is a (probably apocryphical) quote from Gingrich or Rove or somebody to the effect that "Democrats are the enemies of normal people everywhere."
2c- Just to be clear, the reason Dean is considered a "nut case" is that he tried to give a pep talk to his campaign supporters after coming in second in Iowa. He lost that mainly because he was fighting too clean or (if you like) was naive about the nature of campaigning. Anyway, he gives this crazy speach about how they are never going to give up (even though it was pretty clear to everyone that this was curtains) and with no rhetoric left to shout... he just shouts! Somehow Dean's shouting became the story and the punchline is that he's just "a looney." This is the sort of thing that happens when the press decides that someone is "over." However, the Dean supporters obviously didn't buy that he was crazy or over and Dean didn't buy it either. Just to confuse the situation with a historical parallel: there is a story (probably untrue) that when Churchill gave his famous BBC address on June 4th, 1940 (We shall fight them here, there, in a house with a mouse, etc.) he apparently said "off mic" at the end "And we will hit them over the head with beer bottles because that's all we will have left" I mean, yahoo! That's the spirit! Am I saying that Howard Dean is the Winston Churchill of our time? Um... damnit, I did it to myself again...
2b- Original I had "a liberal" instead of "the devil" but then I thought the 2nd comment was funnier. Part of the problem with my blog posts is that I can never quite decide if I want to say what I want to say or if I want to parody what I am actually saying. Really I want to do both at the same time, while explaining what I am doing (sort of like now) Anyhow, I think you are dead accurate when you say that its relevant that Karl Rove thinks that Dean is an easy mark. Either he's right or its hubris. Your implied point that Dean won't be able to do his job, might be right but overlooks some things which are important: Relative to the Republicians, the Democrats have been having a hard time getting people who felt apathetic about the major parties to associate with their party. This isn't a crazy idea at all. Most eligible voters, don't vote. More to the results of 2004: Kerry did a great job getting people who normally voted Democrat to actually get to the polls and vote for him. BUT... Bush did a better job in getting people who don't vote at all to start voting (for him). At least, that's the idea there.
2b'/2c- Your Dean quote practically makes my point for me. The head of a political party should be ideologically partisian and untroubled by notions that the other side isn't totally wrong. There is a (probably apocryphical) quote from Gingrich or Rove or somebody to the effect that "Democrats are the enemies of normal people everywhere."
2c- Just to be clear, the reason Dean is considered a "nut case" is that he tried to give a pep talk to his campaign supporters after coming in second in Iowa. He lost that mainly because he was fighting too clean or (if you like) was naive about the nature of campaigning. Anyway, he gives this crazy speach about how they are never going to give up (even though it was pretty clear to everyone that this was curtains) and with no rhetoric left to shout... he just shouts! Somehow Dean's shouting became the story and the punchline is that he's just "a looney." This is the sort of thing that happens when the press decides that someone is "over." However, the Dean supporters obviously didn't buy that he was crazy or over and Dean didn't buy it either. Just to confuse the situation with a historical parallel: there is a story (probably untrue) that when Churchill gave his famous BBC address on June 4th, 1940 (We shall fight them here, there, in a house with a mouse, etc.) he apparently said "off mic" at the end "And we will hit them over the head with beer bottles because that's all we will have left" I mean, yahoo! That's the spirit! Am I saying that Howard Dean is the Winston Churchill of our time? Um... damnit, I did it to myself again...
DNC - revisited
2b - Perhaps some conservatives call him "the devil," but more relevant are those with an interest and role in getting conservatives elected (eg, Karl Rove, National Review) who call Howard Dean "their best-case opponent" (in so many words). Maybe their judgement is flawed, but since the job of the DNC chairman is to get Democrats elected, and those other guys keep beating them, it seems relevant.
2b' - I don't know that it speaks well of Dean when a conservative calls him "the devil." But I know I'm not impressed with Dean when he says, "I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for..." (Maybe that quote has been taken grossly out of context, but I can't figure what context would make that statement even marginally helpful, admirable, or well-considered.)
2c - It doesn't strike me as a good thing that the party campaign director/organizer can't keep the media from concluding that he's crazy (insofar as they think that, not just that he's not the best person for the job).
Just to clarify, I don't have any strong feelings towards the DNC, Dean, or their convergence. I'm just responding for the sake of responding.
2b' - I don't know that it speaks well of Dean when a conservative calls him "the devil." But I know I'm not impressed with Dean when he says, "I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for..." (Maybe that quote has been taken grossly out of context, but I can't figure what context would make that statement even marginally helpful, admirable, or well-considered.)
2c - It doesn't strike me as a good thing that the party campaign director/organizer can't keep the media from concluding that he's crazy (insofar as they think that, not just that he's not the best person for the job).
Just to clarify, I don't have any strong feelings towards the DNC, Dean, or their convergence. I'm just responding for the sake of responding.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Democratic National Committee
Howard Dean has been elected to the Democratic National Committee. Hooray!
1. To put it plainly, I feel like Dean was eliminated as the party nominee due to:
a. Dirty pool by the other candidates, particularly Gephardt.
b. A poorly administered party.
2. There are three main criticisms of Howard Dean, all of which I think speak well of the man:
a. People who call themselves liberals say that he's not a real liberal.
b. People who call themselves conservatives say that he's "the devil."
c. Because of the dirty pool campaign against him (see 1.a) , more or less everyone in the media thinks that he is insane.
3. My thought on Dean's actual politics is that it charts better in European terms. To put it differently, the sorts of things that Dean advocates as good policy would make him a good Eurocrat. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I won't support this remark with any sort of explanation as to what I think a Eurocrat is or what I think Dean's politics are or how I think its similiar, or any part of my reasoning. I'll write this sentence and the previous one just to frustrate you.
4. The truth is, what really sold me on Howard Dean is how good of a web-site he had. All of the other campaigns were phony IT-literate."I'm going to say something that FDR never could have said, if you want to know more about John Kerry, go to www.JohnKerry.com" -- Shut the heck up, you phony! Howard Dean managed to find a team that actually knew something about IT. American IT professionals are an important but misunderstood and vastly underappreciated group. Howard Dean understands that and doesn't condescend. If that sounds stupid to you, then... okay I'm bluffing, I got nothing.
5. Finally, I like that Howard Dean had a real job before he became a politician. Yes, I know he's no Hortio Alger story but... well, but nothing. He was a real Doctor with a real practice and his wife still has a real practice and that's real work... so there!
1. To put it plainly, I feel like Dean was eliminated as the party nominee due to:
a. Dirty pool by the other candidates, particularly Gephardt.
b. A poorly administered party.
2. There are three main criticisms of Howard Dean, all of which I think speak well of the man:
a. People who call themselves liberals say that he's not a real liberal.
b. People who call themselves conservatives say that he's "the devil."
c. Because of the dirty pool campaign against him (see 1.a) , more or less everyone in the media thinks that he is insane.
3. My thought on Dean's actual politics is that it charts better in European terms. To put it differently, the sorts of things that Dean advocates as good policy would make him a good Eurocrat. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I won't support this remark with any sort of explanation as to what I think a Eurocrat is or what I think Dean's politics are or how I think its similiar, or any part of my reasoning. I'll write this sentence and the previous one just to frustrate you.
4. The truth is, what really sold me on Howard Dean is how good of a web-site he had. All of the other campaigns were phony IT-literate.
5. Finally, I like that Howard Dean had a real job before he became a politician. Yes, I know he's no Hortio Alger story but... well, but nothing. He was a real Doctor with a real practice and his wife still has a real practice and that's real work... so there!
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Jason gets mail!
Chwerchak sent Jason a birthday card, which arrived today. I won't share the details of what I am sure was meant to be a private correspondence with the world, but Jason did ask me to read it to him, since the only time he cares to keep his eyes open is when he is looking at himself in the mirror. Let me just say that although some of his pictures make him look like a wrinkly 55 year old man, sorry Greg, Jason is not available to be your drinking buddy anytime soon.
Oh, and Jason says he always suspected that about Dean Cain. And anyway, Tom Welling is a much better Superman, and Louren really appreciates the casting agent who hired Mr. Welling for the job, enabling her to lust after somebody who plays a teenager on tv, but is really the same age as she is. Well, two months and two days younger, but who is counting!
Oh, and Jason says he always suspected that about Dean Cain. And anyway, Tom Welling is a much better Superman, and Louren really appreciates the casting agent who hired Mr. Welling for the job, enabling her to lust after somebody who plays a teenager on tv, but is really the same age as she is. Well, two months and two days younger, but who is counting!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Monday, February 07, 2005
Happy Birthday Dave!
Yet another person who turns 30 before me!
***
Jason has checkups every two weeks at this point. There is a questionaire that asks about his habits, and my adjustments. I especially love the "are you getting enough sleep?" question. I checked the yes and no boxes. Which is more or less true. I am getting more sleep than I did when i was pregnant, but not as much as I would like (or will again until my kids are 25 or so).
TMI of the day (or until Will makes me take it down)...the Doctor pronounced Jason's penis perfectly healed. Good for him.
***
Jason has checkups every two weeks at this point. There is a questionaire that asks about his habits, and my adjustments. I especially love the "are you getting enough sleep?" question. I checked the yes and no boxes. Which is more or less true. I am getting more sleep than I did when i was pregnant, but not as much as I would like (or will again until my kids are 25 or so).
TMI of the day (or until Will makes me take it down)...the Doctor pronounced Jason's penis perfectly healed. Good for him.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Which is the worst?
Blah-dee-blah, gibberish, or gobbledygook?
I think gobbledygook because it's the most painful. Blah-dee-blah is somewhat carefree, it's like the cute middle sister of the more serious Blah-Blah-Blah and Waa-Waa-CryMeARiver. Gibberish is slightly worse, it's like what the superstitious people of Europe called Wernicke's Aphasia before they discovered tumors effecting speech centers in the brain.
Gobbledygook sounds really painful and yucky. In the first place, no one really likes gook, but then to have it be Gobbledy is both frightening and menacing. Does it mean that the gook has already been partially Gobbled and is thus Gobbledy or does it mean that you have partially gobbled some words and now your mouth is laden with gook? Whatever it may mean, I don't like it.
Oh yeah... and hey, how about that State of the Union address?
I think gobbledygook because it's the most painful. Blah-dee-blah is somewhat carefree, it's like the cute middle sister of the more serious Blah-Blah-Blah and Waa-Waa-CryMeARiver. Gibberish is slightly worse, it's like what the superstitious people of Europe called Wernicke's Aphasia before they discovered tumors effecting speech centers in the brain.
Gobbledygook sounds really painful and yucky. In the first place, no one really likes gook, but then to have it be Gobbledy is both frightening and menacing. Does it mean that the gook has already been partially Gobbled and is thus Gobbledy or does it mean that you have partially gobbled some words and now your mouth is laden with gook? Whatever it may mean, I don't like it.
Oh yeah... and hey, how about that State of the Union address?
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Jason Slept 5 hours!
In a row! Well, he woke to nurse at 2:30, and not again until 7:30, so he only "slept" for maybe 4 and a half hours, but 5 hours from the start of one to the start of the next at night is progress!
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