Jesus, ET, and now Steve Jobs

So Bloomberg ran this Obituary of Steve Jobs. For those of you reading this blog, you know how greatly relieved I am at the moment, but none of you know that a friend and coworker of my was killed in an auto-accident on Monday. This raises some big questions: What determines the limited time that we have? How can we be wise in spending our remaining time? Is there virtue in suffering? Why does nature have mercy but not pity? Why does Steve Jobs get to live again? Why can't they design a phone that slides all the way into my table PC for storage and management of the address book? Why isn't the tablet PC in the same form factor as a normal folio pad (with an 8.5 x 11 screen)? Is Gossip Girl really as bad as advertised? What should I have for lunch? My deorderant has no anti perspirant, does that mean that maybe I should just spray cologne into my armpits? Who would win in a fight batman or lupin? Are marshmellows better on smores or in hot cocoa?

This is not to make light of my friend's death, although we weren't that close, I think he would understand the point I am making and how I am making it: Big questions are hard to deal with, besides their basic nature of being unanswerable, they must necessarily be erodded by the fiobles of our biology and the insasiatable hunger of triviality.

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

Hey, Daily News, I am stealing your bandwidth.
So, this is the latest craze going around the Internet. Why so much hype? Here's what I think:

1. Apple users are surprised to discover that human hands made their goods. Apple has done a gone job in convincing the world that sorcerers summon these sparkling jewels of industrial design from the beyond.

2. Factory workers are clean. I've notice that especially Democrats think that all factory workers are coal miners. Am I saying that Apple users are Democrats? I am. Yes, that means you Trav. You are a Democrat. You like higher taxes. And government regulation of everything. Especially what you think. You love that.

3. Factory workers are women. Even in this enlightened age, nerds still think of themselves as a "no girls allowed" club. Am I saying that Apple users are nerds. Check. I've previously posted about the relationship between ridiculous nostalgic chauvanism and computers ("The first computers were women" canonical rant). Dave is saying, "Wait a minute... I have an iPhone and I don't think about technology as being exclusively male, in fact, I don't think about gender at all when I think about technology." Oh yes you do, you think Ada Lovelace was a guy. And Brenda Laurel too. You put testosterone in your Nalgene of Mountain Dew before you take the GUYway to Mistersoft for a day of manly man computing. Then at lunch you don a bearskin pelt and viking helment and sing "Men! Men! Men! Men"

4. People make a lot of assumptions and love to generalize. Especially without facts and against credibility. That's why I eat Frosted Flakes, it makes you chairvoyant (the power to get someplace while sitting) and telegeneticist (the power to insult your distant descendants with obsolete theories of biodiversity). I, for one, think the iPhone factory girl is a hoax, a cover-up of the extra-terrestrial controlled zombie-lab which produced part man, part alien, part machine, part undead, iPhone factory workers to make iPhones by (a) growing them from a limb, (2) severing the iPhone limb with a lighting gun. (bew bew-bew, KAPOW!!!)

Well, enjoy your 15 minutes, iPhone factory girl. You might be one-in-a-million.

The Light of New York

Years ago, I commented to my brother, Eugene, that the light in New York was different. He said it had to do with latitude. I doubt it. New York has a similiar latitude to Madrid and Rome, but the light is different.

The first time I noticed it was not when I went to Rice. It was when I was four.
"Three's Company" was shot on video, but "M*A*S*H" and "Happy Days" were filmed. Even filmed, the lighting for "Charlie's Angels" was not the same as "M*A*S*H" and "Happy Days." Those shows were the stark light of reality. The light of New York.

In the years I have spent away from New York, I tend to forget how harsh and disconcerting it is, how steeped it is with my own pasts, the ghosts of my unknown ancestors, and the forgotten memories of things I should understand happened here but don't.

The light of New York is indelible. It soaks into the granite and steel. It attaches to the soot and rain. It has a smell. Indelible is one of those great English words that I learned in LING 201 that entered the English language more than once thanks to the Romans. It's related to the word "delete." I would know more about the word if I had studied real linguistics past LING 201, but I was interested in what Dave kindly once referred to as "total nonsense."

I had a point here, but I forgot what it was. Ok, I remember now. It was a point about nonsense. And here, will be one of the few times that I actually explain what I am saying, rather than trailing off.

Ultimately, I admit that the light in New York looks no different than other places. But honestly, I truly perceive a difference in the quality of the light. Amazingly, the latitude theory is offered by someone who does not have that perception; a theory that I would not have come up with.

This is what it means to cope, to be part of a family. It's a shared nonsense. And if its a fact, I believe it. And the fact is that the light of reality can be harsh, in New York and elsewhere. Believe it.

Believe it.

Blogging clone wars - surprisingly tasteful

Great visuals, natch. Lucas only executive produced. That seems to mean no
sideways wipes.

Plot was fairly well structured on the model of a video game walk-through,
although the whole "save jabba the hutt's baby son from a conspiracy
between count dooku and jabba's drag queen uncle" really messed with my
head. There is also a point where I was sure that they were going to do a
cheesy flashback of anakin and his mommy but instead anakin just looks made
and sad and says he doesn't want to talk about it. First of all, Cgi
looking soulful? Incredible. Second, since when does star wars resist the
temptation to be cheesy, good job.
Actually, there is a really interesting psychological bit: anakin and the
clones are genuinely sympatico. Dakota and I saw an exhibit at houson space
center showing the models they used for this movie and I watched a clip
about the character arc for Anakin's clone captain rex, so I knew it was
deliberate. Its a great retcon, though. It explains why darth vader prefers
to surround himself with storm troopers and has basically nothing but
disdain for the moffs.

Terrible dialog, also natch. Not as bad as jar jar binks but about as bad
as "obi wan versus the snooty librarian"

There are screaming kids in the theatre but I am happy to say that my kids
are not one. The kids are captivated. More so than me at jason's age. And
why not?

Blogging u2

I admit they are high faluten
Gluten

Blogging Terry Aki

The title to this post is an inside joke. No one who reads this blog knows either Terry or Aki.

When I was in Vancouver, we had Yum Cha after the wedding and they brought out this delicious dish. It was these thin tender but crispy noodles, strips of chicken, big longitudinally sliced mushrooms. There was a light but flavorful broth and a hint of some sort of chinese herb.

"So, Aunt Carrie," my brother asks, "what is this?"

"Shoumeee"

"Wait... did you just say this was chicken chow maine?"

"Yes"

"No way."

"Way."

"Excellent. Party on Wayne"

"Party on Garth"

Everything after the "Yes" was a delirious episode of "My Favorite Martian" but as I sit here eating the "Terry Achey Chicken" recipe cooked up by the deli in our lobby, I like the flavor but the whole wheat dinner roll is throwing me for a loop. At least I can make it into a Sloppy Tso.

If I had a serious point here, it would be that yesterday's editorial by David Brooks of the bird-cage liner, is a contest between astounding rascism and pure name-calling. In any case, the cooks in our cafeteria show a deeper and more respectful understanding of Chinese culture and society than David Brooks, and Diet Dr. Pepper goes terrific with all meals. Dr. Pepper himself is an example of the spirit of individualism that Brooks espouses. I'm drinking it up right now. It really does taste more like regular. If I think of Dr. Pepper before the Lonely Hearts Club Band plays then I will experience more.

Blogging the Olympics: Women sweep sabre

Hey MSNBC, sabre is FAST. How about some instant replay?

NBC has great commercials. MSNBC, where the fencing is at, apparently is
the network of really bad drivers.

Oh well, I admit that as corrupt the IOC is and as ambivelent I feel about
the venue: to see the smiling, proud faces of our young superheros as old
glory is hoisted to strains of the national anthem. And look, a single tear
of happiness from gold medalist. Wow... Its the perfect moment.

God bless America!

Blogging in the rain

So I have figured out the the subject line is the title brilliant.

A few people let me know that seattle gets less rain thab houston. Here's
thw different. Right now its sunny and I am purposely standing in the
downpour because its cooling everything off. Also in the time its taken me
to type this out two people have startwed conversations abiut rain and its
tapered off and gotten heavy again

Ah texas

the dream changes

So I am still having bar exam dreams but they are getting better: the secured creditors are perfected, even though time is not of the essence the contractors finsh on time and the architect signs the certificate of completion in good faith, the checks are honored, everyone acts as an ordinary reasonable prudent person would under similar situations, equity need not make done because its already been done in the first place, the testator understands the natural objects of his bounty and the scrivners faithfully leave the specific bequests to "dave, his heirs and assigns", all the guardians take the oath, all the trust beneficaries stay away from loan sharks, bailors deliver the goods, the best interests of the children are understood by the parties even without a guardian ad litem, the inducements to marry are written down, the known arsonists turns himself in by voluntarily arriving at the police station and though he is free to leave decides to knowing and intelligently waive miranda, the insurer and the injured party reach a fair settlement that is makes them whole without being a windfall, oral promise made prior to the final writing are forgottrn about, all the surface estates are accomodated, all the reservoirs hit MER, all interests will vest within lives in being plus 21 years, consignor get paid, the cotenants of blackacre get along, and the merchants is fair forthright and honest with the consumer who receives effective good that achieve the special purpose.

There are no barnes and nobles at the peace arch

Only borders