Screens Not the Answer to Keep Birds Out of Jet Engines - NYTimes.com

Screens Not the Answer to Keep Birds Out of Jet Engines - NYTimes.com

At this moment Travis is just shaking his head sadly at the poor state of science education in this country that lead to the need for the perceived need by the NY Times to report on this.


Here are some more things which are not the answer to keep birds out of jet engines:

1) Decoys on the tail. Birds will see the decoy on the tail and say, "I want to head to the tail of the plane" thus avoiding the engine.

2) Lasers. "Bew bew bew!"

3) A return to the Halcyon era of Led Zeplins.

4) Exterminate all birds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pow Pow Pow!

5) Right before the plane goes down, hit "reset" Hey, it works on the simulator.

6) Videoconferencing. It will totally replace the need for business travel and make the world a smaller and more connected place. Ok you can't see this, but I typed that and then had a belly laugh for about ten minutes.

7) Padding on airplanes

8) Padding on birds

9) When the engine goes down during the flight, send the mechanic out to fix it. Hey, that's what IT does. Sort of.

10) Padding on the passengers