Mental list while in traffic on westpark tollway

Some woman is doing her makeup. She has liquid AND powder. She is using a powder brush-- no compact for her! In fact, she has a whole arrayof cosemetics in the passenger seat. So here's my list of ways to one-up her:

*I should shave, with a mug of soap applied by brush. And I should use a straight razor. And I should tip my seat back and put a steam towel on my face.

*I already eat in the car. I should also cook. I think I still have my"Fry Daddy, Jr" deep fat fryer

*I should sleep

*I should do my achilles foot pointing exercises, using the accelerator for extra resistance

*I should make an Appletini for "make-up girl", roll down my window, and offer her one. I be suavely screaming over the wind.

*I should rig a makeshift clothesline frame and dry my laundry. Then I should climb out on the roof and fold.

*Three words: "bump n jump"

*Yoga