Don't dis the Shatner

Ben Folds is the king of wus punk. Therefore coming out with an album called has been seems like a dis on James Tiberius Kirk aka Tiberius James Hooker aka Bill Shatner.

Don't dis the Shatner. Go back and watch his work in context. He had no budget, no peers, no nothing. Only his wigged out craft and millions of Sci-fi fans with not poetry in the soul, unbeknownst to them.

Shatner was my favorite mystery celebrity on TV PIX (you really have to fish around in this link, be patient but I also have very fond memories of Paula and Carole and their insane pink squirrel). I loved it when the danger that the plot had dished up would get so ridiculous that Shatner would just look right at TVland, hold his NexTel phone next to his mouth and say the corny line that the writers put down with a "can you get a load of this nonsense?" flair.

I think that the reason Big Marty somehow convinced me that it was a good idea to catch speeding bikes by the handle bars with no protective gear was because I was inspired by Shatner jumping on the hood of cars, grabbing the windshield wipers and hanging on for dear life.

You know ladies and gentlemen, T.J. Hooker clinging the the front of a speeding car while the incompetent forces of evil try to eject him with a combination of swearing and wiper fluid... its a metaphor for life. That's where we all are, like it or not.

By the way, if someone jumps on your car, you have to stop and let them out or else its an intentional tort for wrongful imprisonment. See Noguchi v. Nakamura, 2 Haw. App. 655 P.2d 1383 (1982) (holding that suddenly dumped boyfriend nevertheless had to stop and let his let his ex-girlfriend out of his car).

So anyway, don't dis Shatner.