The joys of being Dakota's father

Dakota is a fussy eater so I am always intruiged as to what new foods
she likes. Pizza with anchiovies-- she knows that they are little
oily salted fishes and loves it.

Then she drops this bomb, "Dad we need to have a talk about something
that is important to all girls in second grade... the Jonas Brothers.
Well, do you know who they are?"

"Yes, princess."

"Dad, I would prefer you call me Dakota all the time. I have a
reputation as a tough kid to uphold and people shouldn't know that I'm
so soft inside."

"I certainty understand that sentiment, Dakota."

"Good. So listen, I listened to one of the Jonas Brothers' songs on TV
and I just have to say: they totally suck."

--
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The secret ingredients to vegetable soup made from scratch

Beef boulion.

Electric chairs and dynamos, dressed to kill they're killing me

I really want to love the Tesla because it looks damn cool and considering that I have never ever been a sports car guy, that's got to be some sort of high bar to clear. My Yaris is about the sportiest car I've ever had. I still miss Mike Hardy's S-10 Blazer with the Houston Post keeping the window from falling down. Who knows, maybe I've having this mid-life crisis that I keep talking about and will need a sports car that Jason and Dakota can spill their chocolate milk on... no, I think I'll keep the Yaris with the scotch guarded fabric seats thank you. Its got a nice radio. Theives if you are reading this, don't steal my radio, its the factory radio.

But when I hear claims that the $57K car is somehow a bargain because you get a tax credit and it will be low maintenance, I wonder if Tesla's motivation to make these representations is a part of some master plan to run a future model of car on turbines powered by derisive laughter.

My other problem with Tesla is that their CEO just seems like such a jerk-face.


Why not use more parts normal parts? Do you really thing custom means better?


Why treat your employees so bad?


Why not conceed that your car is years late and hella overbudget?


Why are you wearing that stupid sweater? Oh carp, I'm wearing the same sweater.

Hubris aparently is thinking that

Hubris aparently is thinking that checking email in the morning won't make me run late

Hubris: Normally I email these questions to E Hewett

But its interesting enough to blog about and get opinions from all the contributors. The question is: What is Hubris?

I was talking to my Mom about this last night. I was saying I had Hubris and she was saying that I was mistaking Hubris for wishful thinking. I think she is right but back to the question.

Hubris, says I, is the sin of Pride, by which a great man believes himself to have the power of the gods such that he can ignore fate or destiny or certain other uncrossable boundaries, except that a man is just a man and he really can't and so he eventually dooms himself

My mom says that Hubris is merely when your own strength becomes your undoing and that the greatness of Greek tragedy is from the irony of seeing a person's best weapon turned on the weilder.

So what do the rest of you think?

--

Geez, I just realized I never made E$ a contributor. I'll fix that one sec.

Crowded Kitchen Cha Cha

I can't believe no one came up with a cha-cha-cha about trying to get around someone in a crowded kitchen while that person is trying to get around you.

I'm a "Cathy" strip.

Thought bubble: Chocolate is a food group. Next frame: (commotion). Final frame: "ack!"

More support for living with monkeys

In Y: The Last Man, Yorick was the only human male to survive because the helper monkey he had been training had thrown immunity-conferring poo at him.* It wasn't the ultimate reason that humanity survived, but it made for a great series.

* Yes, fanboy, I know there are at least three inaccuracies in that statement, but I don't want to tell the whole story to make a joke. Let it be.

Living with monkeys -- qualification

I know what I said before but I need to qualify. I read an article
once about people with severe disabilities who have a trained monkey
to help with stuff like opening jars and picking stuff up These are
smaller less aggressive species than chimpanzees. So my previous
statement was hyperbole. Sorry

--
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Listening to KISS at Subway

Dakota and I are talking about the difference between similarity and
functional equivalency when "I wanna Rock and Roll All Night and Party
Every Day" comes on the radio.

"Shh Dakota, listen to this: Its KISS. They rule"
After a moment Dakota beings to boo. Jason joins in.

"No no no. Stop what are you doing?

"I don't like KISS. They are bad" says my little critic.

"But Prinncess," I say, "what sentiment could be greater than wanting
to rock and party?"

"I want to go to school and then own a farm. And on the farm, everyone
is going to work. Hard!"

--
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Equity Delights To Do Justice and Not by Halves

Have I ever mentioned how much I love the Maxims of equity?

If I think of it, I will add some latin for E Hewett. OK! I've done it. Find the Latin, everybody. When you do, its actually a different maxim. Its says "Equity Follows the Law"

Oh and A Chen-- If Henry tells you that equity has been abolished

"Unless displaced by the particular provisions of [the Uniform Commercial Code], the principles of law and equity, including the law merchant and the law relative to capacity to contract, principal and agent, estoppel, fraud, misrepresentation, duress, coercion, mistake, bankruptcy, and other validating or invalidating cause supplement its provisions."

UCC § 1-103(b)

Ok on to the post-in-chief

So maybe its because I am blogging as a form of snooze bar instead of
getting up and starting the day, but let me state the obvious:

This peace offering by the AIG CEO to ask bonus recipients to return half their bonus will so nothing to slake the publics thirst for blood. What has happened here is that we have a business man unable to think with a public policy hat and politicians unable to think like business people. I may be Master of the Nearly Obvious (MONO!) but this is exactly the reason why this sort of involement by goverment in private
business can be bad for both capitalsm and democracy. Do other countries have state owned and run businesses? Sure. I said "can be" and not "is always". Our execution has been bad with a capital b. (Why didn't I just write Bad? Stop stalling you have to get up)

Why the bonuses (AIG): Whatever rationale that they are now giving is post hoc. The reason probably was a sloppy cocktail of different things that the new guy recognized as necessary to keep the organization in tact and/or keep certain clients on board and/or make other people go quietly. In business they call this an "incentivationalismistical" approach. Because business people don't know that "incentivize" is not a word. Moreover they don't careivate whatism wordificants they bastardize and the laughificate at peopleoidees who do.

Why the bonuses (Geithner): No matter how inequitable the conduct of AIG's employees were, their inequitable conduct was not the source of their legal right to the bonus. That was created by a contract, presumably negotiated at arms length. Simply because we don't like the outcome, the government cannot simply disregard a legal right, not even in equity because aequitas sequitur legem. Therefore, the government can not just say "F U! I don't care what the contract says, I hold all the cards and if you
want that money, you'll have to sue. I dare you to try" but knowing
that, we should have never allowed our ceo appointee to cut that deal. It should have been a regulation: can't use tarp money give bonuses to anyone for any reason. Sorry not cuts no butts no coconuts. But we didn't and we are in deep now.

So back to this "half" back business. The fact that Liddy thinks this is even a solutions shows no understanding of the public mood at all. The public mood is the first scene of "Dantons Death" (the Buchner play) where the French Revolutionaries have gotten so outta hand that the angry mob has taken to killing people with hankerchief because having a snot rag make you "a gentlemen" which had become pejorative.

>So what has to happen? Its a real crisis pitting the thrive(ificationismitis) of the economy versus the survival of democracy. I will always pick democracy. I swore an oath to that effect.

--

Happy cat

He grooms and purrs
Sitting upon the TV
I cannot watch lost

Juliette and kate
Is it just personal taste?
Kate is not hotter

The island is Zen
Ben and Sun found the rowboat
Oars flash. Ben is out.

--
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Keys to Harvest Moon

Surpringingly deep life leasons from Dakota from her farming video game::

@Do not buy things before you need then
@Avoid getting too hungry, the same goes with your animals
@Brush and milk your animals before you let them out of your barn.
@Don't rely on only one animal to produce milk; have a backup animal
to produce milk.
@Get the fruit
@You are riding a horse to save time, so take the fastest route
@Fishing can tire you out, if you need a specific fish, just buy it.
But if the fish store is closed, like at night, you need to get out
your fishing pole
@When your rucksack is full, its time to ship goods for sale.
@even a weasel can be your friend, but only because the fence keeps
him off your farm.
@Produce can also grow in the wild.
@Its time to go home when its getting dark.
@Sometimes you need to take a day off from harvesting, having more
time is worth the money, which you will collect tomorrow.
@Animals are cute when they are sleeping
@I try to watch one TV show, read one book, write one letter, and make
one recipe every day. I want to try to use the stuff in my house.

--
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This is what I want from journalism

I haven't seen journalism do this in years:

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2009/03/daily-show-cramer-stewart.html

Administrative note

If you see a post like this where the text goes lovingly over to the end of the screen and the word-wraps. I logged into blogger to do it. But if there is a loathesome carriage return (wow, where did that analog term come from? I meant to say line break. I have mechanical typewritter on the brain.) then I used gmail from my blackberry. But if the message and the headline are the same and the message is less than 150 characters, it was a text message. Possibly I was driving, which is both dangerous and illegal in California, but Monday night I was watching "Heroes" and saw a commercial that I didn't like.

I had a dream last night that I failed the bar and joined the Marines. Some sort of middle aged fantasy? I'm a bit young for middle aged, but I've always had sort of a middle-aged soul, I guess. Anyhow, the point was that my achilles is no longer injured in my dreams. So I guess that means I am on the mend.

As for Twitter being like the new Star Trek. I don't like Twitter any more than I liked IRC, which is to say that I don't like it. Star Trek is not like that. I think that the re-boot needed is to have more original cast Star Trek movies. In the new movies, there is no Space Travel and few special effects; just dialog about the human condition. Then a big space battle happens at the end and everyone is killed. Then the next movie starts with a lame explanation about how they escaped death, "boy people aren't going to believe how we escaped that. So let's never mention it again." and then they start over.

Misleading headlines: the new disappointment

I was all excited to learn why Twitter was the new Star Trek - some exciting William analogy - but then let down to see that the total message was an opinion on the new Star Trek movie. I guess it's really my own fault for being an ignorati who doesn't know his tweets from his Twitter.

Tweet: the new star trek

Tweet: the new star trek looks bad.

Metaphysical discussion with Dakota

Dakota just fell asleep. As she drfted off, her mind wandered towards
her aspirations.

"Dad, when I grow up. Do you think I could invent a time machine?"

"I don't see why not."

"I know all about the fabric of time"

"You do? Is it really a fabric?"

"No, its just seems like a fabric. Its really the space-time
continuum. And when you travel through it, you make a hole by, like,
curling the fabric around and everything is bunched up and then... bam!
you are someplace else in another time but nobody has a map yet so its
pretty unpredictable."

"Oh... I guess you do know all about it. Maybe you will invent a time machine."

"That would be great. I'd take a camera and get pictures of all the
presidents and then I could sell them to the government. I'd be like
'hey, this is what the president really looked like'"

"If you are going to see the past Presidents, why not stop Lincoln's assasination?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you know when its going to be and where, you could just go to
Ford's theatre and be like 'hey Mr President, watch out for that guy
coming up behind you, he's got a gun"

"Well, first of all, I'm not even sure if time travel is safe. I mean
what if I overshoot and end up with dinosaurs, or if the machine
breaks down as soon as I arrive, or if I try to do something and get
shot. "

"Inventors need to test out their devices before using it themselves"

"Good point, I will use a robot from my lab... I'll be sure to pick my
least favorite one"

"Good plan"

"But look, I don't think you can mess with the space time continuum.
If you did then maybe everything would be different. You might be
mommy. Mommy might be a boy. You might have been married to Marley's
dad. And also we would be living on another planet!"

"What? Why another planet?"

"I'm just saying! Look, you're missing the point, Dad! Those things
aren't real because that's not what happened. Just because you could
travel back in time doesn't mean you can change the past "

"Wow. I am going to put that on my blog."

"Ok. Well, goodnight Daddy"

"Goodnight, princess"

And with that she hugged her stuffed bear and conked out. Meanwhile,
I ponder her metaphysical proposition and am afraid.

--
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You are so fired

http://twp.com/detail.jsp?key=359430&rc=wo&p=2

In Soviet times, apparatchik used to give each other guady pieces of
plastic sculpture as symbols of elite status within their doofus
circles.

Inspired (perhaps not the right word) by this and the staples "easy" button
ad campaign, Hillary Clinton presents her Russian counterpart a big.
button that proudly says "overpriced"

Oh... I meant it to say "reset"

Later, Clinton met her Chinese counterpart and said in broken
Mandarin, "I desire your father for his intentions during 'the rape of
Nanking'"

Oh... I meant to say "the boxer rebellion"

When Clinton gets back to Washington, Obama will have a big embossed
certificate that says "You are totally declasse"

Clinton will say, "Oh Barrack, the word you meant was..."

"Fired? No, Hillary, its the right word. "

--
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Daylight creating magic

Condemned to walk the endless desolate plains of purgatory... the
souls of those who die during the LOST HOUR.

You see, for most of us, we will set our clocks ahead an hour and go
to sleep and not notice that TIME ITSELF shall be rended.

--
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CIO of the USA

I hope the new guy is good. He has a degree in MIS but was never
really a programmer, making him new school.

Like most MIS graduates, he is better at stating the obvious without
sounding as beleaugered exasperated as old school IT guys.

In this case it was the observation that government IT deployments are
a sad joke. Like what happens when your batallion of COBOL
programmers hire UNISYS the covert from Lotus Notes to Exchange?
Expensive Chaos. Think of a clown parade. Clowns... Shudder

--
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This happened when I got back from London, too

I left and returned to a totally unrecognizable culture dominated by
what Brandon Kirby refered to as "son of NirvanaPearlSh--"

here's evidence that I've dropped in from the moon:

I have no idea who Rihana is, or why she was savagely beaten at the
Grammys. I hope she's alright and doesnt get back together with her
abuser, who is also someone who I am supposed to know but dont. Seems
like a sad situation, its not clear why the media wont leave her
alone, but thats because (as I said) I have no idea who she is.

Apparently there have been 13 seasons of "the bachelor" and the last
bachelor had been on the "ms pacman" version. Really? When did this
happen? And when did it take such prominence in culture? Dude goes on
the reunion show to break up with the winner and get back together
with the runner up. I heard that he kept shouting "do over! Do over!"
At the finale but the producers ignored him so then he said "i'll get
my farventednugent or else my name is herb the guy who never tasted a
whopper" Seriously though, this epic jerkface behavior seems like it
should have been great TV, but people seem mad about it. "Oh no,
there was too much low comedy originating from pettiness vanity and
mendacity of reality tv".

John McCain understands twitter and I dont. This is the most
surprising turn of events ever. There are other things in my life that
one think I might consider to be a more surprising turn, but no: its
tweeting McCain, the Senator from "cant figure out his email".
Apparently he's tweeting about parts of the omnibus bill that he
thinks should be cut hoping that the power of his ugly sneers will put
an end to them. Ha. Sometimes I think he's the callow youth and I'm
the cranky cynic. Washington DC, and you can correct me if I"m wrong
about this Trav, is a city without shame. Ugly sneers aint gonna stop
nuthin other than keep your face from lookin pretty (which there was not
really much hope for in McCain's case to begin with)

One day until "Watchmen". I hope its good.

--
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OctoMom

http://wap.wnbc.com/detail.jsp?key=649273&rc=nn_ne&npc=nn_ne

Quote:
The video portion of the blog, live as of 9 a.m. ET on March 3,
shows Suleman struggling to speak as one of her older six kids bites
her, pulls her hair and slaps her in the face. Suleman said her older
children are already jealous of the octuplets. When a friend showed
the kids a picture of their new siblings, ";they hit the picture,";
Suleman said
End quote:

I wish this person would get off the national stage. She's not
entertaining me.

As for the sentiment that she is burden on taxpayers and that having
so many children is wrong, thats just nonsense. In fact, a baby boom
right now would fix a lot of problems. Kids need care and spending
that is not subject to the "paradox of thrift" ("paradox of thrift" my
eye. If the purpose of bailout is to allow balance sheet repair, i get
to do it too. Moreover: what a stupid phrase! Here are some more
stupid things to say, press analysts: the mendacity of prudence, the
mystery of history, the conundrum of virtue, the farvennuugen of
perspecacity, a teddy bear picnic is a land of half orc magic users)
and when the babys grow up they can pay off the national debt. And
babys are cute. Everybody plays, everybody wins.

Therefore, everyone who is cool should have a baby or have one
coming: whoops, look at that all my closest friends are super cool.
Way to go guys!

You guys are beating the "paradox of thrift" with the "crodile dundee
dee of fecundity"

--
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Single Feature / Eru Teaf Elg Nis

No video, no conversation with a survivalist, just a long ol' palindromic poem.

The who?

No, they're not "the who"

http://m.delmarvanow.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090228/OPINION03/902280348/1014/OPINION&template=wapart

It occurs to me that because Dakota is not yet into double digits for
age, I have been spared having to hear about the Jonas Brothers. The
thing is: Although I've never heard any of their music, I don't assume
its bad. Carol King and Neil Diamond wrote the songs for "The
Monkees" and I like Miley Cyrus about as much as I can like any
Nashville Country Pop. It always mystifies me how after spending so
much effort in picking performers who can sing and dance and look the
part, the result can be stuff like "All 4 One" (They were popular my
senior year of high school, I think I heard a Nashville star cover "I
Swear"). Anyhow, as I lie here procrastinating waking the kids for
school, I reflect on the Letter To Editor in the link above. There is
no way thats a 13 year old girl. Its more like a 29 year old grad
student writting in sotto voce as her inner 13 year old girl. "my
grandmother showed me the section" indeed.

--
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Mental Note: dakota's business idea

"When i grow up i will be a farmer and run a store called 'farmtopia'
and i will sell animal food, supplies, animals, farming tools, seeds,
fertilizers, seedlings, and produce! And then i'll have commercials
and then i will open up 'farmtopias' all over the world. And then
i'll be famous! "

--
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